The Breastfeeding Debate: Get Over Ourselves Already or Get a Room?

December 29th, 2011 - By MN Editor

"black mother breastfeeding"

If you ran into Target on Wednesday to pick up your usual products, depending on where you were, you might have been surprised to run into woman after woman breastfeeding around the store in areas around the country. It all started when Houston-area mom, Michelle Hickman, was repeatedly asked to relocate her feeding to a fitting room after she was found sitting in a clothing aisle trying to discreetly breastfeed her child. According to Time.com, when she reported the incident, guest relations told her, “just because it’s a woman’s legal right to nurse a baby in public doesn’t mean she should walk around the store flaunting it.”

Not a good move. Girlfriend rallied up friends, set up a Facebook account to organize a “nurse-in,” and yesterday, women showed up at Targets all over the country ready to feed in public–no matter who was looking. From one participant to more than 50, different stores attracted different groups of women to take part in the nurse-in. However, the reaction seemed to be similar all over: a few funny looks, some support, and for the most part, a lot of indifferent people too busy trying to get some post-Christmas deals. They came, they saw, they breastfed, and they’re hoping their small but courageous movement will change some attitudes about the very natural and healthy action.

The breastfeeding debate is and has been a tough one for a long time. While most mothers (I won’t go as far to assume all) just want to freely breastfeed their children with no fuss or muss, a lot of people still seem to be uncomfortable with boobs going free in public, even if they’re only out for a minute for a child’s sake.

If you ask me (which I know you didn’t), I think a woman should be able to breastfeed her child when she needs to, even if it’s in public, without feeling like people are giving her the death stare. It definitely is a very natural thing and while it definitely was something I had to get used to/comfortable with when I was younger, I’m not phased by it anymore (maybe just surprised though when I turn around and see a boob I wasn’t expecting). A child has to eat, and a mother has to do what she has to do. I understand that.

However, my only issue is with why the recommendation of covering yourself with a small towel or even going into a fitting room to breastfeed for others who might be uncomfortable with it gets met with such a strong disapproving reaction from mothers? I feel the idea that what your child needs is more important than what a grown a** person who should get over themselves already thinks. But for those who might not want to take their older children into an aisle and encounter an unexposed boob, I just want to understand why having an area for women to breastfeed without being bothered, just as there is an area to change young children in public places, gets met with such ferocious opposition? Especially when some mothers don’t even try to play discreet and literally just have their boob out to see, even when the child isn’t feeding on it. Maybe making a mother move and somewhat “hide” gives the idea that breastfeeding is somehow shameful, even though it isn’t, making some want to combat that feeling. But still…

While the struggle of the breastfeeding mother is very real, and the grown men who Tweet and make stupid or sexual comments about it should cease, we all know you can’t force people to be comfortable with something they’re not comfortable with. You can tell people that they need to look at it as something as simple as feeding a baby with a bottle, but if they still don’t see it that way, they’re going to feel a way about–and therein lies the problem. Therefore, I’m wondering, is compromising by moving to a breastfeeding-friendly area really all that demeaning and bad for a mom? Feel free to school inquiring minds like mine below (but BE NICE).

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  • GUEST

    Breastfeeding is a very natural and bonding mother and child moment. I would think that a mother would want that time to look at her baby while nursing without distraction, so she should be sure to be in an environment that would allow her to do so. I breastfed a set of twins and there is no way I could comfortably pull both of my boobs out in public and breastfeed. Coverups do come in handy yes, but have you ever watched a hungry breastfed child sucking on your shirt while you are trying to get it together quickly. It’s really about being MODEST in public not saying women can’t breastfeed while shopping. Just like a man can’t pull out his genitals and start peeing because he has to, a nursing mother  should just use some discretion because there are some sicko’s out there who get off on watching that.

  • Sherrimarie73

    Though I am not a mother yet, I look forward to it when I am married. My mother breast fed myself and all my younger siblings. By her example, I will be a mom that will look for the fitting room or a semi private place to nurse my child with a large light throw to cover up. I would not want any man other than my husband to see my breast quite frankly. I was raised with a level of modesty that I wish was a norm today. That type of modesty does not negate the beauty of breast feeding, but protects it for the mother and child.

  • Blah

    Breastfeeding in public is just plain rude if the mother does not properly plan ahead of time.. if your going to do it then be prepared for ANY situation meaning having bottles on hand, a cloth for concealing the business… I mean come on, sex is natural so shall me and my husband get it on in target right next to the breastfeeders. At the end of the day I’m sick of these crazed moms that have no life. 

  • Jae

    If homosexuals can freely walk around holding hands and kissing in public (forcing me to explain to my young children what homosexuality is before they are able to really comprehend), why is it an issue for a mother to nurse her child in public? Shoot, that can be easily explained to children…and for the adults with issues with it, that’s YOUR issue, it may not be the next person’s. I HATE feet, maybe i should start a campaign to ban sandals!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Toya-Lane/653016432 Toya Lane

    Im also a breastfeeding mom and I think that the issue with covering or moving to a private place has never crossed my mind. I, unlike most Americans, have had the opportunity to live and travel abroad to contries where breastfeeding is the norm and very much a part of the culture. Women don’t cover or go to special placed to nurse. Women are also very likely to be tending to various activities like working or shopping with nursing babies and feeding them is simply a very natural act that requires little thought. The sexualization of breasts in our culture is also an issue. If there were no strong cultural sexualization of breasts then this wouldnt be a topic of conversation. We need to get past it and the only way is to see more women breastfeeding in various social settings and being comfortable while doing som My daughter is 23 months and she can nurse whenever and wherever she pleases which is why you are not likely to see her out and about throwing a tantrum ….I can just offer her ninny and everyone an be at peace

  • hiswomanandlovingit

    As a mother of 3 who has (and is breastfeeding the newborn) breast fed all of her children, sometimes you don’t have the option of waiting to get home or having someone watch your child while you run out or even pumping the milk to put in bottles. None of my kids even entertained being bottle fed so that wasn’t an option. i have always covered up with a pashmina or a nursing shawl. I have only been confronted about my nursing a handful of times and then it was by women.

    If breastfeeding isnt for you, that is ok. I am not one of those “breastfeeding nazis” but dont tell me how i should feed and care for my child(ren) because you have issues. If you dont like to see me feeding my child, i have a very simple solution, DON’T LOOK!!

    • Natasha T

      As a fellow mom, amen! I breastfed in public too and I got stares, but I’m more interested in feeding my baby than worrying about what people think about me.

  • Guest

    I don’t think the issue is with breastfeeding itself, I think it’s having the breast partially exposed. I just watched the news where they interviewed one of the sit-inners(?) and she said the breast is natural and shouldn’t have to be covered up if breastfeeding. If that’s the case, can I walk around topless in public with my breasts showing without people taking offense? I don’t think so. And companies, such as Target, are probably showing concern for their consumers who may feel uncomfortable with the partial exposure of bare breasts, by asking the nursing moms to breastfeed somewhere else. I don’t mind breastfeeding in public; the baby has to eat, but is it too much to ask to use a coverup?

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