Robin Thicke Says Black Women Aren’t Better Off with White Men

December 22nd, 2011 - By Brande Victorian

Paula Patton and her husband Robin Thicke definitely know how to make marriage look good, from Paparazzi shots of the two out and about to Red Carpet debuts, and even his music videos.

With the release of his new album, “Love After War,” Essence chatted with Robin about what separates him from other artists and his thoughts on black women and love. Here’s what he had to say:

On people getting married and making love to his music

To be a part of your biggest days — you know your child being conceived or born, or you walking down the aisle — there’s really nothing sweeter. That’s the truth.

It’s actually the best thing. It’s nice if you can make someone drop it like it’s hot, or pop a bottle. But we’re always dropping it and popping it. What I realize about the difference between me and my peers — you know, Chris Brown and Drizzy Drake and all my musical peers — is that they haven’t been with the same woman for 18 years and I’ve been with a Black woman for 18 years. I’ve never dated a White woman. Don’t want to. I’ve never been on a date with a White woman. When you have that relationship and that means the most to you — you know I can’t live without that woman, she is my muse, my best friend, and my creative partner. I didn’t have a great relationship with my mom and she didn’t have a great relationship with her dad and we became that for each other. She’s my mama and I’m her daddy. I even call her mama and she calls me daddy. We are that to each other.

On being misunderstood

A lot of mainstream magazines, like SPIN and Rolling Stone, they still don’t get me. They can’t figure out how a funny guy with a dad on a sitcom can have a 90 percent Black female audience. It’s never happened before. I didn’t plan it that way. I just love the music and I love my wife and she is a strong Black woman, so if my wife doesn’t like it, how can the other Black women like it? If my wife approves of the song, I’m doing it.

On whether black women are better off with white men

I think that’s ridiculous. There are so many good Black men out there that are hardworking, decent, and handsome, you know? To start that rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor. There are great Black men out there. There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends. I’ve got 20 Black male friends, who are all good men who take good care of their wives, and good care of their children. I know amazing Black men. Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.
Eighteen years to this man? I think Paula’s got a good thing going. What do you think about what he had to say?

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  • Paler_shade_of_blue

    To split this thing into black and white and who is good and who is not, is ridiculous! The things to focus on are, love, compatibility and above all respect. No One is better than the other, be they black or white. To brand all black trashy women because of the way the Atlanta Housewives behave is a severe injustice. Actually, to brand anyone because of the behavior of a counterpart is a severe injustice. While I think that some of the Atlanta Housewives are skank, let me just say that we have many white female celebrities who are just as skank, if not more. Somehow someone has to get through to people like NeNe and Malory and Lindsay and Kim and others to make them realize behavior like theirs is not OK.
    Robin I am very happy that you and Paula have such a long standing ongoing relationship, but surely when interviewed, should you not just speak for yourself and not others?

  • Bella

    Why people thought white men were “better” boggles the mind. It’s to do with the individual. I date interracially and regardless of the ethnicity of the man, if he does not meet my standards, he doesn’t have a chance.

  • Debbie Branch

    The man loves his woman.  That is all that really matters.  He didn’t do the interview to solve the world’s problems with race, or hunger, or economics.  He is just telling us “his” experience.  Give the guy a freakin’ break, already.  Signed, black chic, married to black man 19+ years.

  • Miriam

    Nope!  Sorry Thicke!  I still choose white men over black men, simply because they are better-looking and much nicer.  Nice try on defending black men though, but they won’t get my vote.

    • Dontyouknow

      I too am also more attracted to white men.  Better partners. Plus, they take on the man role.

  • Guest_I_Am

    that’s so true..BM want to tell BW who to date/marry, and become very judgmental about BW who
    date/marry outside, even though most BM have proven just how much they
    dislike BW. They prove it everyday, from the NBA players, to the
    musicians, to the regular BM on the street, they are totally against
    Black women! So Black women, it is time to break the bond. Don’t worry
    about “saving the Black race” – Black love died because of the Black
    man. His preference is not us, so it’s time we move on to others.

    Since the U.S.media  is trying to do everything in its power to make
    everyone hate Black women, look outside the U.S. when you can. I know
    that’s hard, especially if you’re living in the hood, but it’s better
    than becoming a baby-making machine for lying men who have ZERO
    intention of committing to you. Black women, it’s time for us to move
    on, and stop believing that we have to single handedly keep the Black
    race from extinction – Black men are already working hard to make the
    Black race extinct – from violence to interracial relationships – so why
    are we wasting our time trying to be pro-Black when our own men are
    not? Seriously, I’m a Black woman who once believed all these Black men
    on soapboxes talking about looking out for the Black race from one side
    of their mouths, but turning a blind eye to all the BM who
    dated-out/slept out, and holding up non-Black women out the other side
    of their mouths.

    So to make a long story short, Black women its time we recognize that
    the U.S. hates Black women, and so do a large percentage of Black men,
    so move on to better pastures, or else die out alone.

    • Home

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      journeyw . blogspot .com

  • Sugarrbabe

    I like what he said and he gave props to African American men. I live in Santa Clara County an area in California and “black” men do not date African American women, a former friend of mine will not consider dating outside of her race and I told her she’ll never find that perfect brother here because he will not look at you.  She told me a story of a party she was at and the black men fell over a Mexican girl with 5 kids, they completely showed no interest in any of the beautiful intelligent sisters that were there. I heard from a Mexican man that his Black friend got all the Mexican girls and all they spent was their money and gave up their goodies in droves, the African American men and the Asian women here trips me out, also, I’ve never seen so many African American women dating and married to men outside of their race because the brothers aren’t interested so what do you do. Black men depending where you live aren’t interested and black children are almost non-existent.

    • Guest_I_am

      that’s so true..BM want to tell BW who to date/marry, and become very judgmental about BW who date/marry outside, even though most BM have proven just how much they dislike BW. They prove it everyday, from the NBA players, to the musicians, to the regular BM on the street, they are totally against Black women! So Black women, it is time to break the bond. Don’t worry about “saving the Black race” – Black love died because of the Black man. His preference is not us, so it’s time we move on to others.

      Since the U.S.media  is trying to do everything in its power to make everyone hate Black women, look outside the U.S. when you can. I know that’s hard, especially if you’re living in the hood, but it’s better than becoming a baby-making machine for lying men who have ZERO intention of committing to you. Black women, it’s time for us to move on, and stop believing that we have to single handedly keep the Black race from extinction – Black men are already working hard to make the Black race extinct – from violence to interracial relationships – so why are we wasting our time trying to be pro-Black when our own men are not? Seriously, I’m a Black woman who once believed all these Black men on soapboxes talking about looking out for the Black race from one side of their mouths, but turning a blind eye to all the BM who dated-out/slept out, and holding up non-Black women out the other side of their mouths.

      So to make a long story short, Black women its time we recognize that the U.S. hates Black women, and so do a large percentage of Black men, so move on to better pastures, or else die out alone.

  • Jazzsingerar

    for me, I don’t care what color they are. they are young and still in love after all these years, temptations ( a lot for both i’m sure) and now starting to grow their family. this was my dream for me and my ex-husband, who would have ( if we had remained married) just celebrated our 31 anniversary. Instead  we have two great kids that came from a broken home, that I raised almost alone except for the grace of God no one went to jail, both went to college and I have no grandkids yet, although my youngest is getting married in the spring.The are both happy, good hearted people, and again I give credit to the Lord for His helping me to put good people in their lives and allowing me to be the best mother I could.But, if it had been my choice, staying together in love – as it seems Robin and Paula are – would have been my choice for life. I hope they always feel like they do now for each other and I wish them well……

  • Carmella

    Im a black women who knows plenty of good white men.  Nothing against others, but we will have our preferences.  Mr. Thicke has very few white friends so he really can’t say much on his whole race if that is the case.

  • reese

    Why is always the focus always on white men saving us.  There are plenty of other races besides white and black.  So why always focus on white men.  There are good and bad men in all races.  Don’t let anyone tell you who you have to date and why.  Everyone has different experiences.  My case is that more non black men approach me.  So what are you saying to us that we should stay single?  Find a good man you are attracted to and worry less about his race.

  • reese

    Are they going to ask Robert Deniro next.  Maybe Justin Beaber.  He is one man with an opinion.  Why is his worth more than anybody else’s?

  • Shaunnj

    We could avoid this debate by having an interview with Robin Thicke that doesn’t focus on race all the time. It’s not news he’s married to Paula Patton – they aren’t even recently married. Madame Noire is a site geared towards Black women and men, but it’s okay to have conversations not based on race. It’s like when I read interviews or articles on Mariah Carey – 20 years after her debut we’re still focused on her ethnicity? If we’re having articles and discussions surrounding race, at least make them relevant to the article – unless wer’re saying black or white musicians should only stick to limited musical genres.

  • FromUR2UB

    Men are men.  You can’t draw a line and say, “OK, all the GOOD men on this side, and all the BAD ones on that side”, because those two men often reside in the same man.  Men are good to women who hold their hearts, and bad to women who don’t.  That doesn’t always mean that the women they love dearly, are treating them right, either.  It just seems that some men are motivated to be good to the women who excite them emotionally, regardless of whether she’s good or bad for him. 

    That’s why it’s silly for women to think they’re going to find a different type of man, merely by crossing the color line.  I do agree with Thicke that, people don’t understand what they don’t experience.  Many can’t even empathize with what they haven’t experienced.

    • Postas

      When people say good …do they just mean a man who is kind, pleasant, treats them with respect??  For me, I wanted that and more.  For me, a man must be a provider, have goals and clearly follows through with set goals, protector, and strong enough to lead. And guess what many bw are finding these qualities in men of other races.  Im not a women who doesnt know what she wants so I didnt deal with men who didnt possess these qualities in hope that some day he will.  I found what I wanted in a white man and that’s ok.  

  • LovelyGal

    Reading some of these comments is making me laugh. If a white man belittles black culture, he is a racist. If a white man praises black culture, he is a poser (trying too hard). He can never really win with some of you people, huh?

    • Opineyes

      I agree I think their taking true love out of context. Some of his choice of words could have been better, but I truly believe he’s being honest and that’s all you can ask for.

  • Dr. Kiti

    I married a white man, no because I have any kind of preference, but because we love each other and decided marriage was our next step. Nevertheless, I get all kinds of shade from black men and women, most assuming I have a problem with black men, exes who assume they’ve ‘damaged’ me in some way and folks who don’t care to recognize the love, support and mutual respect our relationship holds. Truthfully: I never even wanted to get married. Now that I am I couldn’t be happier. When I prayed for a man I never asked for a black man. Apparently God has a fantastic sense of humor. My response to shade is and always has been “a black man never tried to wife me up or treat me the way my husband does”.

  • Guest187

    That’s Robin Thicke’s opinion and I respect it BUT he hasn’t been dating White men, I have.  The ones I have dated have been great and HAVE understood “my journey.”  Never had an issue with that.  Also, a number of the white guys I’ve dated have encouraged me to wear my hair 100% natural.  A Black guy wouldn’t do that, not that I know of. 
    I will say that White men with a European background (British, Italian, Polish, etc.), Jewish men, and Canadian men seem to have a  better compatibility with Black Women, from my experience.  Though I have dated a couple White American men who were great and compatible. 

    As for Black men, THERE ARE many good ones of course.  I think he should have said, ‘good luck finding a single one that wants to date a Black woman.’  lol!  But I will say that from my experience, African, Caribbean, and Black men from Europe (i.e. Black Brits) appreciate Black women more than I have seen Black men do.  Never have I seen the disrespect and talking bad and negative about Black women into the media than I have seen from Black American men.  That being said, people should just be with who truly loves you and treat you right, no matter their background.

    • Love_Sexy

      Yes I agree with everything you said 100%.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1233835534 Shirley Jean-Louis

    What did he say? I was too busy being mesmerized by his eyes.

    • Opineyes

      lol….

  • http://twitter.com/sumthn2say sumthn2say

    Robin Thicke is TOO MUCH!  He made a song paying homage to black women (cant remember the name) and in the first paragraph of the interview he makes it a point to not only say that hes been with the same woman for 18 years but that its a black woman…That is irrelevant. Why state the semi obvious ( I say semi b/c I thought she was mixed).  People focus too much on race whether describing why they dislike someone or to prove how politically correct they are.  Hes tryna put himself on a pedestal to say he is the only white man that understands a black womans “journey”…hes full of it.

    • reese

      I was thinking the same thing.  Is he special among white men that only he can relate?

  • http://twitter.com/sumthn2say sumthn2say

    …

  • Guest

    I love the some of the over sensitive women posting here.  A guy marries a black woman, stays with her for ears and then says gives one bit of general common sense relationship advice and he’s accused of bashing black women?  Absolutely ridiculous.  No wonder some of you are single. 

  • Ellisvisionary

    GIve it a rest Haters!!!!  This man who is white is and apparently has been in love with the same black woman for 18 years, he in my opinion speaks from a position of authority in terms of knowledge of what it takes to make a relationship work.  Stop looking for the negativity in everything and appreciate the fact that this Man loves his Woman and they have longevity in spite of lifes challenges.  Thanks Robin…from a woman of color who has loved and been married to a man of color for the past 20 years

    • Opineyes

      Well said….

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