Robin Thicke Says Black Women Aren’t Better Off with White Men

199 comments
December 22, 2011 ‐ By

Paula Patton and her husband Robin Thicke definitely know how to make marriage look good, from Paparazzi shots of the two out and about to Red Carpet debuts, and even his music videos.

With the release of his new album, “Love After War,” Essence chatted with Robin about what separates him from other artists and his thoughts on black women and love. Here’s what he had to say:

On people getting married and making love to his music

To be a part of your biggest days — you know your child being conceived or born, or you walking down the aisle — there’s really nothing sweeter. That’s the truth.

It’s actually the best thing. It’s nice if you can make someone drop it like it’s hot, or pop a bottle. But we’re always dropping it and popping it. What I realize about the difference between me and my peers — you know, Chris Brown and Drizzy Drake and all my musical peers — is that they haven’t been with the same woman for 18 years and I’ve been with a Black woman for 18 years. I’ve never dated a White woman. Don’t want to. I’ve never been on a date with a White woman. When you have that relationship and that means the most to you — you know I can’t live without that woman, she is my muse, my best friend, and my creative partner. I didn’t have a great relationship with my mom and she didn’t have a great relationship with her dad and we became that for each other. She’s my mama and I’m her daddy. I even call her mama and she calls me daddy. We are that to each other.

On being misunderstood

A lot of mainstream magazines, like SPIN and Rolling Stone, they still don’t get me. They can’t figure out how a funny guy with a dad on a sitcom can have a 90 percent Black female audience. It’s never happened before. I didn’t plan it that way. I just love the music and I love my wife and she is a strong Black woman, so if my wife doesn’t like it, how can the other Black women like it? If my wife approves of the song, I’m doing it.

On whether black women are better off with white men

I think that’s ridiculous. There are so many good Black men out there that are hardworking, decent, and handsome, you know? To start that rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor. There are great Black men out there. There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends. I’ve got 20 Black male friends, who are all good men who take good care of their wives, and good care of their children. I know amazing Black men. Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.
Eighteen years to this man? I think Paula’s got a good thing going. What do you think about what he had to say?

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  • i am the devil…..ihave come

    im startin to look at black women funny, yall aint got no love for men, yall aint got no love for dr. dre and snoop dogg

  • Von

    Robin, love your music and appreciate your lyrical depth. I am a white male so with that said I agree with your opinion concerning the quality of black men being good men simply because good is in us all and is fueled when we do good for others and others do good for us. I also loved your words of wisdom when you stated: ‘
    To start [that] rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor’. But what surprised me is then you did exactly what you stated was wrong. You stated a negative rumor saying: ‘
    There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends. I’ve got 20 Black male friends ‘. I wasn’t upset or angry, in fact, I analysed your statement intellectually to see if this was a true rumor and I believe it is not true.
    Instead of undergoing argumentative rhetoric that only seems to inflame emotion, and in doing so, hinders the pursuance of truth. I would like to point out that by your own admission you are not qualified to judge white men against black men. Your perception is bias and cannot be logically or summarily sustained point by point or otherwise. The reason i make this claim is based on your own prejudicial testamony. You cannot make a claim stating there are only a few good White men… and then state that you have only 3 white friends its problematic because your opinion is based on lop sided perspective. To further cripple your argument you go on to say that you ‘have 20 black male friends and all are good men…’ yet just moments earlier you state: ‘What I realize about the difference between me [a white man] and my ‘peers’ — you know, Chris Brown [lmfao seriously] and Drizzy Drake and all my musical [Black] peers — is that they haven’t been with the same woman for 18 years and I’ve been with a Black woman for 18 years.’ (brackets [ ] emphasis my points).
    Either you correlate ‘good men’ as being uncommitted to the opposite sex or you correlate white men (which includes you) as malicious because they enjoy long standing commitments.
    Robin, from one white man to another white man i will speak plainly since no prejudice can be formed. Do not sterotype us or our black counterparts anymore. The division continues and festers because the spirit of your comments only propagates our already tense standing particularly with the black/white male dynamic. To blankly state white men are bad and black men are good damns BOTH men. It denies the white man the ability to shed the burden of a stigmatic history and binds us to the same tired mind frames that have demonized the aryan race and degraded its culture to the point that redemption is seen as unattainable.
    For the black man it halts his personal progress and robs him of the motivation to become greater (since they are so great already, lets not focus on advancement anymore.)

    In closing instead of judging races wholesale, regardless of your day to day exposure to them, approach every human being with a pre-status of being in good standing and then see if that INDIVIDUAL retains that status or if he degrades into bottom barrel mentalities such as rascism.

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  • Paler_shade_of_blue

    correction…to brand all black trashy women…should be, to brand all black women trashy. OOps

  • Paler_shade_of_blue

    To split this thing into black and white and who is good and who is not, is ridiculous! The things to focus on are, love, compatibility and above all respect. No One is better than the other, be they black or white. To brand all black trashy women because of the way the Atlanta Housewives behave is a severe injustice. Actually, to brand anyone because of the behavior of a counterpart is a severe injustice. While I think that some of the Atlanta Housewives are skank, let me just say that we have many white female celebrities who are just as skank, if not more. Somehow someone has to get through to people like NeNe and Malory and Lindsay and Kim and others to make them realize behavior like theirs is not OK.
    Robin I am very happy that you and Paula have such a long standing ongoing relationship, but surely when interviewed, should you not just speak for yourself and not others?

  • Bella

    Why people thought white men were “better” boggles the mind. It’s to do with the individual. I date interracially and regardless of the ethnicity of the man, if he does not meet my standards, he doesn’t have a chance.

  • Debbie Branch

    The man loves his woman.  That is all that really matters.  He didn’t do the interview to solve the world’s problems with race, or hunger, or economics.  He is just telling us “his” experience.  Give the guy a freakin’ break, already.  Signed, black chic, married to black man 19+ years.

  • Miriam

    Nope!  Sorry Thicke!  I still choose white men over black men, simply because they are better-looking and much nicer.  Nice try on defending black men though, but they won’t get my vote.

    • Dontyouknow

      I too am also more attracted to white men.  Better partners. Plus, they take on the man role.

  • Guest_I_Am

    that’s so true..BM want to tell BW who to date/marry, and become very judgmental about BW who
    date/marry outside, even though most BM have proven just how much they
    dislike BW. They prove it everyday, from the NBA players, to the
    musicians, to the regular BM on the street, they are totally against
    Black women! So Black women, it is time to break the bond. Don’t worry
    about “saving the Black race” – Black love died because of the Black
    man. His preference is not us, so it’s time we move on to others.

    Since the U.S.media  is trying to do everything in its power to make
    everyone hate Black women, look outside the U.S. when you can. I know
    that’s hard, especially if you’re living in the hood, but it’s better
    than becoming a baby-making machine for lying men who have ZERO
    intention of committing to you. Black women, it’s time for us to move
    on, and stop believing that we have to single handedly keep the Black
    race from extinction – Black men are already working hard to make the
    Black race extinct – from violence to interracial relationships – so why
    are we wasting our time trying to be pro-Black when our own men are
    not? Seriously, I’m a Black woman who once believed all these Black men
    on soapboxes talking about looking out for the Black race from one side
    of their mouths, but turning a blind eye to all the BM who
    dated-out/slept out, and holding up non-Black women out the other side
    of their mouths.

    So to make a long story short, Black women its time we recognize that
    the U.S. hates Black women, and so do a large percentage of Black men,
    so move on to better pastures, or else die out alone.

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  • Sugarrbabe

    I like what he said and he gave props to African American men. I live in Santa Clara County an area in California and “black” men do not date African American women, a former friend of mine will not consider dating outside of her race and I told her she’ll never find that perfect brother here because he will not look at you.  She told me a story of a party she was at and the black men fell over a Mexican girl with 5 kids, they completely showed no interest in any of the beautiful intelligent sisters that were there. I heard from a Mexican man that his Black friend got all the Mexican girls and all they spent was their money and gave up their goodies in droves, the African American men and the Asian women here trips me out, also, I’ve never seen so many African American women dating and married to men outside of their race because the brothers aren’t interested so what do you do. Black men depending where you live aren’t interested and black children are almost non-existent.

    • Guest_I_am

      that’s so true..BM want to tell BW who to date/marry, and become very judgmental about BW who date/marry outside, even though most BM have proven just how much they dislike BW. They prove it everyday, from the NBA players, to the musicians, to the regular BM on the street, they are totally against Black women! So Black women, it is time to break the bond. Don’t worry about “saving the Black race” – Black love died because of the Black man. His preference is not us, so it’s time we move on to others.

      Since the U.S.media  is trying to do everything in its power to make everyone hate Black women, look outside the U.S. when you can. I know that’s hard, especially if you’re living in the hood, but it’s better than becoming a baby-making machine for lying men who have ZERO intention of committing to you. Black women, it’s time for us to move on, and stop believing that we have to single handedly keep the Black race from extinction – Black men are already working hard to make the Black race extinct – from violence to interracial relationships – so why are we wasting our time trying to be pro-Black when our own men are not? Seriously, I’m a Black woman who once believed all these Black men on soapboxes talking about looking out for the Black race from one side of their mouths, but turning a blind eye to all the BM who dated-out/slept out, and holding up non-Black women out the other side of their mouths.

      So to make a long story short, Black women its time we recognize that the U.S. hates Black women, and so do a large percentage of Black men, so move on to better pastures, or else die out alone.

  • Jazzsingerar

    for me, I don’t care what color they are. they are young and still in love after all these years, temptations ( a lot for both i’m sure) and now starting to grow their family. this was my dream for me and my ex-husband, who would have ( if we had remained married) just celebrated our 31 anniversary. Instead  we have two great kids that came from a broken home, that I raised almost alone except for the grace of God no one went to jail, both went to college and I have no grandkids yet, although my youngest is getting married in the spring.The are both happy, good hearted people, and again I give credit to the Lord for His helping me to put good people in their lives and allowing me to be the best mother I could.But, if it had been my choice, staying together in love – as it seems Robin and Paula are – would have been my choice for life. I hope they always feel like they do now for each other and I wish them well……

  • Carmella

    Im a black women who knows plenty of good white men.  Nothing against others, but we will have our preferences.  Mr. Thicke has very few white friends so he really can’t say much on his whole race if that is the case.

  • reese

    Why is always the focus always on white men saving us.  There are plenty of other races besides white and black.  So why always focus on white men.  There are good and bad men in all races.  Don’t let anyone tell you who you have to date and why.  Everyone has different experiences.  My case is that more non black men approach me.  So what are you saying to us that we should stay single?  Find a good man you are attracted to and worry less about his race.

  • reese

    Are they going to ask Robert Deniro next.  Maybe Justin Beaber.  He is one man with an opinion.  Why is his worth more than anybody else’s?

  • Shaunnj

    We could avoid this debate by having an interview with Robin Thicke that doesn’t focus on race all the time. It’s not news he’s married to Paula Patton – they aren’t even recently married. Madame Noire is a site geared towards Black women and men, but it’s okay to have conversations not based on race. It’s like when I read interviews or articles on Mariah Carey – 20 years after her debut we’re still focused on her ethnicity? If we’re having articles and discussions surrounding race, at least make them relevant to the article – unless wer’re saying black or white musicians should only stick to limited musical genres.

  • FromUR2UB

    Men are men.  You can’t draw a line and say, “OK, all the GOOD men on this side, and all the BAD ones on that side”, because those two men often reside in the same man.  Men are good to women who hold their hearts, and bad to women who don’t.  That doesn’t always mean that the women they love dearly, are treating them right, either.  It just seems that some men are motivated to be good to the women who excite them emotionally, regardless of whether she’s good or bad for him. 

    That’s why it’s silly for women to think they’re going to find a different type of man, merely by crossing the color line.  I do agree with Thicke that, people don’t understand what they don’t experience.  Many can’t even empathize with what they haven’t experienced.

    • Postas

      When people say good …do they just mean a man who is kind, pleasant, treats them with respect??  For me, I wanted that and more.  For me, a man must be a provider, have goals and clearly follows through with set goals, protector, and strong enough to lead. And guess what many bw are finding these qualities in men of other races.  Im not a women who doesnt know what she wants so I didnt deal with men who didnt possess these qualities in hope that some day he will.  I found what I wanted in a white man and that’s ok.  

  • LovelyGal

    Reading some of these comments is making me laugh. If a white man belittles black culture, he is a racist. If a white man praises black culture, he is a poser (trying too hard). He can never really win with some of you people, huh?

    • Opineyes

      I agree I think their taking true love out of context. Some of his choice of words could have been better, but I truly believe he’s being honest and that’s all you can ask for.

  • Dr. Kiti

    I married a white man, no because I have any kind of preference, but because we love each other and decided marriage was our next step. Nevertheless, I get all kinds of shade from black men and women, most assuming I have a problem with black men, exes who assume they’ve ‘damaged’ me in some way and folks who don’t care to recognize the love, support and mutual respect our relationship holds. Truthfully: I never even wanted to get married. Now that I am I couldn’t be happier. When I prayed for a man I never asked for a black man. Apparently God has a fantastic sense of humor. My response to shade is and always has been “a black man never tried to wife me up or treat me the way my husband does”.

  • Guest187

    That’s Robin Thicke’s opinion and I respect it BUT he hasn’t been dating White men, I have.  The ones I have dated have been great and HAVE understood “my journey.”  Never had an issue with that.  Also, a number of the white guys I’ve dated have encouraged me to wear my hair 100% natural.  A Black guy wouldn’t do that, not that I know of. 
    I will say that White men with a European background (British, Italian, Polish, etc.), Jewish men, and Canadian men seem to have a  better compatibility with Black Women, from my experience.  Though I have dated a couple White American men who were great and compatible. 

    As for Black men, THERE ARE many good ones of course.  I think he should have said, ‘good luck finding a single one that wants to date a Black woman.’  lol!  But I will say that from my experience, African, Caribbean, and Black men from Europe (i.e. Black Brits) appreciate Black women more than I have seen Black men do.  Never have I seen the disrespect and talking bad and negative about Black women into the media than I have seen from Black American men.  That being said, people should just be with who truly loves you and treat you right, no matter their background.

    • Love_Sexy

      Yes I agree with everything you said 100%.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1233835534 Shirley Jean-Louis

    What did he say? I was too busy being mesmerized by his eyes.

    • Opineyes

      lol….

  • http://twitter.com/sumthn2say sumthn2say

    Robin Thicke is TOO MUCH!  He made a song paying homage to black women (cant remember the name) and in the first paragraph of the interview he makes it a point to not only say that hes been with the same woman for 18 years but that its a black woman…That is irrelevant. Why state the semi obvious ( I say semi b/c I thought she was mixed).  People focus too much on race whether describing why they dislike someone or to prove how politically correct they are.  Hes tryna put himself on a pedestal to say he is the only white man that understands a black womans “journey”…hes full of it.

    • reese

      I was thinking the same thing.  Is he special among white men that only he can relate?

  • http://twitter.com/sumthn2say sumthn2say

  • Guest

    I love the some of the over sensitive women posting here.  A guy marries a black woman, stays with her for ears and then says gives one bit of general common sense relationship advice and he’s accused of bashing black women?  Absolutely ridiculous.  No wonder some of you are single. 

  • Ellisvisionary

    GIve it a rest Haters!!!!  This man who is white is and apparently has been in love with the same black woman for 18 years, he in my opinion speaks from a position of authority in terms of knowledge of what it takes to make a relationship work.  Stop looking for the negativity in everything and appreciate the fact that this Man loves his Woman and they have longevity in spite of lifes challenges.  Thanks Robin…from a woman of color who has loved and been married to a man of color for the past 20 years

    • Opineyes

      Well said….

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  • Diva Tech

    The sheer level of ignorance in this thread is dumbfounding. I knew that there were people that didn’t move very far past the mentality of slavery… but I kinda thought those people were skinheads and racists… To read this thread and see ignorant mess like “one shade away from white”, and complaints of his genuine admiration for people of African descent is deplorable.. You can’t accept a compliment without lashing out? Love yourself enough to know that you are beautiful and accept compliments with grace no matter who they come from. You are your own worst enemy if you approach everything with a negative attitude… That truth is colorless…

    • reese

      Why is saying she is light complexion so offensive especially if true.

  • Guest

    And at the end of the day–he has been with his woman for 18 years regardless of whatever profound debate people are trying to make on this website.  Whatever he’s doing works for him and her–find what works for you and on to the next topic, please.

  • dddooonnnttt

    Bring back Jon B. That is all.

  • guest

    Ok, Robin, I get it, you love  your incredibly beautiful black woman. But people he is not the expert, nor is he anything more than a white man with an opinion.  Black people are complex beautiful beings with a myriad of stories and life experiences so it isn’t nearly as cut  and dry as black woman and their attitudes or black men and their roguish ways. Best would have been to not comment.  I mean why was this question asked and how was it asked? If we are looking for real answers to this conundrum why are we looking to a white man for an answer? Because he is married to a woman of color? Please.

  • Ragdoll

    Im a African American women married and living in Germany with my German husband.  There is a small community African American women in Europe happily married to European men.  There is nothing wrong marrying men of different races especially when as women you want to be married and you know that the odds are stacked against you because of circumstances that are profoundly happening in our community.  As black women, we are also to blame for many shortcomings concerning our community.  But many of us want and deserve marriage and there is nothing wrong with considering men of other races.
    There are many bw happily married to men of other races and cultures and we shouldnt have to deny how good our relationships are to pacify those who want to believe the wm/bw relationships are a blip.  Our relationships are real and statistic show quite successful. 
    Google African American women living abroad.  We exist.

  • Guess

    Why are people so upset with the suggestion that black women open their options to dating outside of their race?  No one is saying leave all black men alone. But people are saying it is time to leave the thug, multiple baby mama, prison magnet, jobless man alone.  People are suggesting that with the lack of available black men that bw open the door.
    Haters will make excuses such as women of all races outnumber men or that white men arent checking for bw.  At the end of the day, more bw women are dating and marrying non-black men and these marriages are lasting longer than wm/ww marriages.  If you dont want to date IR then dont, but why prevent others from doing so?  If you are only attracted to men of your race, so be it.  But I dont see why so many bw and bm refuse to admit that bw are at a disadvantage in the dating game. and then get upset when bw open their options. 

    • Love_Sexy

      Agree 100%

    • Guest

      As a BM who has dated IR and has friends and relatives who are married IR, I have no problem with it.  I just have a problem with the media acting like it is the solution to the problems of some women.  Women who pick bad black partners will likely pick bad non-black partners.  This I’ve seen with my own eyes.  People need to learn how to have good relationships first.  Marrying someone of a different race won’t automatically solve your problems, and blaming an entire race for your poor choices is just as foolish. 

      • Guest

        I also agree with Robin Thicke.  There are plenty of good black men.  I’d say that good black women probably only outnumber good black men at a 3/2 ratio.  Many women overestimate their value.  And the whole failing black men myth is annoying.  If all black men are such trash, why do they still out earn black women?  Robin Thicke is just telling people to remove the blinders and stop being jaded.  It takes two to make a relationship last.  Playing the blame game and applying blanket labels doesn’t solve anything.

        • Guess

          How am I playing the blame game and applying blankets labels?  Can you be more specific?
          Never said ALL bm… Can you indicate where I stated that please?

      • DeepThinker

        Good Point!

      • Guess

        We can make excuses all day long.  At the end of the day, too many bw are not married b/c the numbers dont add up.  Bm are MIA. And yes, too many bw carry a lot of baggage (kids and deadbeat baby daddies – side note -Ladies, that’s one reason why many of you arent married) But there are many bw who are loyal, deserving partners and find that bm are not available.  
        You said that good bw outnumber good bm 2/3.  Well that 1/3 deserves a a good partner.  And too be honest, many bw find men of other races attractive.  What’s the big deal?  And for you to say that the media is offering it as a solution..well for many it is.  My husband is married to an Afr Amer woman; my bro in law is married to a black Venezuelan, and my cousin in law to a black So. Afr women. Black men got the ball rolling and now bw have caught on.  It’s good. 
        And since you like to throw around statistics, according to tne Natl Council on Family Relations (2009 study) bw/wm are marriages are 44% less likely to divorce by their 10th year than ww/wm marriages. Most divorced IR marriages involve ww and non-white men.  Studies indicate that most bw/wm marriage share same education and economic background so this may be the key to bw/wm marriages lasting. 
        Point is, why knock it?  Is it negatively affecting you?  Just because you think it’s not a solution really doesnt mean it isnt. 

        • Guest

          I have no problem with IR.  I believe in loving regardless of color.  I do however have a problem with people who need to point out the perceived deficiencies of a race to justify their choice. If you find someone of a different ethnicity great!  Just don’t pretend that one race is better than another.
          Also the lack of black men is NOT the reason so many black women are single.    There are other major issues that cause this to happen.  So to just tell women that dating IR will solve their singleness is doing them a disservice and ignoring the real issues. 
          Life isn’t always fair.  Some good women will never find a man.  And that includes white and Asian good women too.  Life is not always fair to men either.  Many good men are passed over by women who want to chase flash and cash.  They are deemed dorky or corny or might be too short for some women.  Such is life.

      • reese

        Is that also true with bm who do the same thing? 

      • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

        This goes for black men too…stop making this a black women thing…this is what keeps black men and black women divided…

    • Caleb Ysryl

      Being black in America is not like any other race of people. We have to learn more about our true history so we know that all the things this society as thrown at us are all attempts to WIPE US OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. So just dating and marrying whoever you want isn’t a general rule for us. The same with homosexuality. You see we are the Creators children. We have a calling bigger than being ball players or rappers or even president!! We are the ones that are destined to rule the planet. Not lime our oppressors did but as the Creator would have us do it. With compassion with wisdom with humility and with honor the age of European political religious economic rule is coming to an end. But If all u want is to b “comfortable” and pop bottles then u deserve the same fate as those in soddom and ghommorah! Choose life choose something other than than your own selfish desires and you might find a “good” black man!!

      • Alert

        Clearly she doesnt want a black man  And today, we have become our own oppressors.  Your outdated prison, militant rhetoric is nothing compared to what we are doing to ourselves. 

  • Marshondavies1470

    I loved what he said….period!! He might nit know everything about being black but he knows how to keep the one he has happy. He’s been doing it for 18 years. I myself wouldn’t date a white man but im glad his wife is happy! I’ve been with black men all my life and all have been a disappointment to me personally but I know there are some good ones because I know some. Im just picking the wrong ones. I will never give up on my brothers though, I love the idea of having a strong black unity.

    • Love_Sexy

      Good point!

  • flairdetroit

    I love Robin and I think his heart was in the right place, but his friends are probably exceptional black men, not Ray Ray and Pookie. Now some black women could stand to tone it down a bit, but even if they all did, there would not be enough good black men to go around. Once you take out the ones that are in jail, gay, drug addicts, drunks, perpetually unemployed, professional baby daddys
    and womanizers you are left with a men who are full of themselves and who take full advantage of the statistics. Sure there are men who fall into none of these categories and the women who have them are lucky, but they probably only make up 10% of the black male population. I’m just being real.

  • elena

    i don’t agree with him.  statistically speaking there have to be more good white men than black because most of our men are in the prison system, homosexual, or have some kind of issues that just aren’t worth the time an energy to deal with.  so that leaves probably 25 black women for 1 good black man to choose from to date.  that greatly limits our chances at finding love.   since there are more white men than black in this country, and in north america (canada included), probably it’s easier just to find and date a good white man.

    • Guest

      There are more women than men in the US.  There are also more white women than white men.  So there is no surplus of white men that can’t find women to marry.  White women are also complaining that there are no good men.  Also statistically white men choose black women least as marriage partners. So no it is not necessarily easier to find a white man.  Stop believing the media hype.  You just got OWNED by facts. And why do you automatically assume that all women are good?  Just because they’re not in jail doesn’t make them marriage material.  Black women probably have just as many if not more emotional issues than black men.  Not to mention baggage such as OOW children, obesity and STD’s.  Just work on being the best woman you can be and someone will love you.

    • Caleb Ysryl

      To say that you don’t have the time to deal with some ones issues just show how selfish and unprepared you are for MARRIAGE. If all u want is a cut buddy, then K but any relationship is not about perfection. One thing I like about Thicke’s comment is when he said his wife didn’t have a father figure and vice versa. THAT is what a good “man” “woman” is about. What kind of issues u think he had to deal with insecurity lack of trust fear of abandonment! I’m not hatin I would just like our women to embrace the fact that part of being a wife is nurturing!! U don’t have to cook or clear or blow me every night but it would be nice if u overstood the mental strain being a black man in America can b. To say u don’t have time for our problems just says u are selfish and indifferent to the plight of our ancestors! They didnt die just so you could get a perm every two weeks and have a flat screen in the bathroom!

  • Ttatum85

    I think he was just speaking his truth to what he knows and how he feels… if that what he and feels aye so be it #justkeepingitreal

  • http://www.facebook.com/thalia.sanders Thalia Sanders

    does he notice that these men won’t date a black woman. and he married one.

  • Blackbutterfly117

    “Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.” 
    I get really annoyed when anyone indicates that Black women aren’t with Black men because there is something is wrong with the women. If there is something wrong with a woman, then she wouldn’t be fit for a relationship with any man, this wouldn’t just apply to Black men.

    I was married to a Black man who, to the world, seemed to have his stuff together, but privately had so many issues that he alternately felt like he was God’s gift to mankind and that I should put up with his BS (what? an attractive, smart, educated and employed Black man? Be still, my beating heart) and was so insecure that he was controlling and emotionally abusive. There was nothing wrong with ME that made him behave that way. 

    The fact is, Robin Thicke is a celebrity and has come from a celebrity household…his household probably earns income in the top 10% in the US. That is not based in the same reality that most Black people experience every single day (1/3 of whom live in the ghetto, according to the book American Apartheid). He’s married to a Black woman (and even that’s debatable); that does not make make him an expert or even knowledgeable about Black culture and social issues.  

    BTW, my first relationship out of that marriage, I am dating a white man, not because he’s white, but  because he is one of the kindest and most real people I’ve ever met. 

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

      “Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.”  This asinine statement is what I got offended as if black women are to blame…black women need to move on and stop caring about what others think.

  • Philfedup

    Good black men finally an advocate who know black women, and is not black (objectivity?). His plea is  right: less argument can improve our life, ladies… But I keep thinking there are too many players that don’t deserve BW.

  • SWEETHOTTKOKO

    I’m sad for the amount of ignorance attached to this one man’s thoughts, words and opinion. If you don’t like it don’t read. It takes an ignorant person to argue someone else’s beliefs. If you don’t agree don’t take shots. He is, as is each and everyone of us, intitled to say, do, act however he feels. Ignorance comes in all race and gender. DON’T LET IGMORANCE HAPPEN TO YOU!

  • Kingdennsnumberone

    THE GORGEOUS ND THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ARE ALWAYS CALL’S ME, ”’MR. RICH”’ ND I LOVE IT, BUT THE ”UGLY” ONES ALWAYS CALL’S ME ”’FAT HEAD”’. BUT ANYWAY, CHARM IS DECEITFUL ND BEAUTY IS VAIN, BUT A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD, SHE SHALL BE PRAISED, THE BIBLE SAYS!!! AMEN!!!! EZEK 28:12,17, PROVERBS 31:30. ”’THOUGHT OF THE DAY”’

  • LOVE&UNDERSTAND

    People should really get beyond the skin issues & reach a higher place of understanding humanity. Everyone is so insecure about what gifts that God has given them especially the minority (Caucasions). We are all a product of genealogy & history. Let people love who they want. It’s so selfish not to. All cultures seem intolerant toward one another on a massive scale because of stupid people telling lies & dividing. People must seek out the root of their learned behaviors & have their own thinking & reasoning reprogrammed based on facts. Get your facts together! The truth is right before your eyes but most are in denial especially when someone gets it right we hate it. Whites are decendants of albino children that come from the same Black woman. No melanin=albino. Racism is stupid cause it only exist due to illusional perception. People are basically the same. Last, I checked no humans can fly!!! Overall embrace your personal human experience. The lack of understanding makes hurts us all. Look in the mirror. STOP hating yourself & your differences. Then you can love anyone!

  • Sanaa

    Knew I like that man!!

  • Love_Sexy

    Uh Oh……Here we go!….Leaving it at that.

  • Kennedy Gisele

    It’s not that we ever got it twisted, atleast I didn’t. Love my black men and like Robin said, never dates white. The truth is that there aren’t enough to go around. So we need to expand our options. That’s my view. We need to be more open to the options. Black women and Asian men are the least likely to be married. 50% of black women are Not marrying. That’s a fact. So we just need to do some expanding.

    • gaitow

      That’s fine.

  • Quiet as Kept

    I love Robin Thicke and I agree that he makes great music that has become the soundtrack to our lives in many ways. But the bottom line is that he is pandering to his audience and Essence in this interview. He knows what to say (and may very well believe it) to keep his fan base ooh-ing and aah-ing. But at the end of the day, regardless of race there are good men and of course, some bad ones. I’m open to all races and to a man that is going to protect, provide and treat me with respect, love and honor.

  • http://www.facebook.com/krystallhardwick Krystal Hardwick

    I don’t think he literally
    means he has 20 black friends or 3 white guy friends, I think he was
    exaggerating..The whole article is just to get a rise out of
    people..’ooo what did the white man say about black people and his black
    wife’ it’s like old news, but for whatever reason, is still
    entertaining to read about

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=520700522 Anna Kay

    Sooo why did he Have to mention that he has “20″ Black male friends?!.. Tryna prove a point or something because I didn’t get that bit…*smh*

  • GUEST

    bottom line. clean your own back yard. stop it with the “all black this, all white that, we gotta do better” rhetoric. there is a good and a bad to everything. if your not getting to the good then quite b@#$ing and find balance.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Madelaine-Livingston/100003241468475 Madelaine Livingston

    my friend’s
    step-aunt makes $84 hourly on the laptop. She has been fired for 5
    months but last month her paycheck was $7776 just working on the laptop
    for a few hours. Here’s the site to read more…qr.net/f3j8

  • Sweettwo

    wow I so am a Robin Thicke fan and I don’t feel that he overstepped any boundaries.  People nowadays have a lot of nerve and women want to know why they are still single.  Not all black men are perfect duh but find that one that makes you laugh all the time and smile from within and stop being so damn picky and maybe you will find that one that will treat you like a Queen.

    • Mystified

      Helloooooo!

    • AnnaRenee

      You have to be willing to make the one you’re with laugh all the time and make him smile from within.  You have to be willing to treat him like a King!  That takes a lot of sacrifice, humility and hard work!! 

      • Charlesstewart1964

        If you can’t handle, then date a white man; he requires nothing and you can treat him like sh*t! No black man wants a women who complains about what has to do for him.  Either do it out of love or move on to the other race.

        • Anonymous

          That’s what many of us are doing…and why don’t you keep your silly little tantrums to yourself …if you don’t like what’s being discussed YOU should move on to a male website and stop trolling here!

        • gaitow

          That’s what y’all black men are doing. So why can’t we?

  • Angelina

    I love the fact that he adores his wife of 18 yrs & loves his life as a married man.However, he’s always talking about black women this & that, & how it is being married to a black woman.Is he forgetting Paula is actually biracial?I’m mixed with part black & Italian & don’t thinks it fair that the black side is acknowledged more as if the other race doesn’t matter.That’s pretty annoying to me.On another note, I’ll love their dedication & commitment to each other.

    • Mystified

      I can’t help but hear a little jealousy in your comment.

      • Angelina

        Jealousy?Really?Funny that didn’t cross my mind.My comment WAS NOT thrashing their relationship nor Paula so where did that come from?That was a dumb comment.I completely agree with Annarenee…why is race always such a major factor?It can’t just be his beautiful wife?I’ve watched interviews w/him where he does the same thing like saying “Cuz you know how black women gotta have their feet rubbed.”Smh…give me a break.

    • AnnaRenee

      They probably are always ASKING him about black women this & that.  Can a black magazine interview him WITHOUT bringing up his BLACK wife, and just talk instead about his smooth mellowness, and his love for his wife, instead of his ‘black wife’?  Probably not.

  • Kemrn99

    It would be interesting to know the race of the women his black friends are married to. I don’t think anyone will debate that there are good black, white, asian etc…, men out there. Black women know this, that is not the problem. The problem is the media paints the picture that those good black men are good without a black woman. We have to see beyond this on both sides. Because now that they have sketched this image into our minds they have moved on to the next lie… Black women need to look to white men because there are no good black men left. This is where the question stemmed from. Sadly enough many of us have fallen for it. Black men and women need to embrace each other. We are even stronger together ( First Lady Michelle & President Barack Obama). If you find love outside of your race or even if you prefer another race thats whats good for you. But don’t turn your back on your God given “rib” or “help mate” because of a lie.

    • AnnaRenee

      “…But don’t turn your back on your God given “rib” or “help mate” because of a LIE…”    
      THERE IT IS!!

      Sometimes we are just stuck on white is right tho.  I remember when Cathy Hughes interviewed Robin, I was soooo embarassed for her!  She went on about his having a black wife, like that made him a saint some way.   

       Cathy gushed and gushed, blowing up this white boy’s head acting so thankful for Robin’s love crumbs to black womanhood.  I hated the way she showed herself. She looked so weak, tho she’s more than old enough to be his older mom!   DAYUM! Even an older woman like her is hanging on Robin like that?  UGGH!!

      This idea that white is better, and they are doing us a favor if they choose to love us in a relationship.  This idea is poison, and Cathy lost points with me on that.  I still love her tho.

      Now if a black person is strong enough emotionally, without the racial baggage, and the white person is strong enough emotionally, without the racial baggage, and they together are strong enough not to let America’s racial baggage interfere, then I say go for it!!  To be an interacial couple takes alot of strength.

      • reese

        Robin does nothing for me.  He seems gay and isn’t manly enough for me.  So don’t think that we are all goosing over him because this sister isn’t.

  • Salon22w

    I already knew that and have  screamed  it for years.. i love black men.. most anyway except ones like that daywalker character.. hes just a a-hole in any color.

    • gaitow

      Amen! Say it again Salon.

    • Love_Sexy

      Ummm Thank you! …..He (or it) is absolute scum.

  • Korey

    Paula Patton is the luckiest chick in the world… 

    • Freebee33

      Everything that glitters is not gold..

    • AnnaRenee

      Not really. I’m the luckiest.

  • Virtualvenus

    Something doesn’t sit right with me on this….. Maybe if he didn’t specifically make it a black and white issue… I would feel better. Maybe if he said something like: “There are good men in every race; as well as bad men in every race. Find one that works for you.” I don’t like when people reference race and I don’t like when people say their spouse is this… (insert race here). Especially, if no one is asking.

    On another note…: it’s sad that he had to say that there are good black men… A smart person would know that already. 

    • Guest

      Sadly most people aren’t smart.  I’m glad you are though.

    • Angelina

      Great point!

    • GM_I

      Maybe he would of said that if the question asked by ESSENCE (A BLK MAGAZINE) wasn’t specifically directed towards blk and white men, he would of answered on a more general basis…I dont get why y’all are acting like the man came out of left field as if he said: “hey, you know what i want to talk about, blk women thinking they’ll do better with white men” smh…he was asked (most likely by a blk woman) about blk women who believe they’re better off with white men and him being a white man, gave his opinion and mentioned his blk friends & wife as reasons to support his own beliefs regarding the quesiton asked of him…the only ppl who would have a problem with anything said in the article are hypersensitive blk ppl who dont like white ppl period and blk women who hate blk men & whoever says anything good about us…so, what is most likely not sitting right with you is ur comprehension level ;-P

    • gaitow

      I know it.  Like the black man is all there is.  There are good men of all races out there. I am tired of hearing black men whine about black women.  Black man, go get who you want (white, black, blue, or a pink) woman if you like and have a good “da*mn life.

    • RenJennM

      Maybe it is sad that he HAD to say it. But are there always going to be people like ya’ll that ALWAYS have to see something negative in people’s statements??? Damn! 
      Look, Black men ARE good. In fact, they are great. But even though our society and the rest of the world IS mentally manipulated by America’s news’ and pop culture’s negative portrayal of American Blacks, we have to admit that there ARE a lot of f***-ups in the Black American male community. (I guess it’s a one-apple-spoils-the-whole-bunch mentality a lot of us have.) So WHY can’t a white man give props when props are due, and speak on Black men positively? Why does there have to be an underlying condescending meaning in his statement? I believe he is being genuine. And it’s nice to hear him, or any one else for that matter, SAY how there are good Black men (regardless of what a lot of people believe). I think it establishes a balance — of all the sh** said about Black men, here’s something nice. Why mess that up?

      • somepieceofmind

        I don’t think, or I hope, no one is attacking him for saying that there’s good Black men out there, I just dont think he had to make negative statements about the Black woman. For him to say that we aren’t giving love to our Black men, or apologizing or etc is casting blame and being one-sided. Truth of the matter is that it takes both a man and a woman to make a good relationship, and you can do the finger pointing all day all night, but you’re wasting valuable time. There are good Black men AND good Black woman, and sometimes we hook up with with someone who Jang meant for us. Such is life. It’s not Robin’s place to give advice to all Black woman on how to get and keep a good Black man. That was naive on his part. I understand he meant well, but he could’ve stepped a little more lightly on that part.
        Statistics show that Black woman are more loyal to their Black men, than any of their other counterparts in America. There is no question that we love our Black men in general, but on a individual level we all have some sort of baggage or level of expectations that doesn’t make us perfect for everyone we meet, so giving all Black woman general advice on having a Black man is irrelevant, to say the least.

        • RenJennM

          Alright. So, I guess my question is: where in his statement did he bash Black women? I’m genuinely confused on that.

          • Lgb-79

            He never did. Paula is the love of his life. I’m glad he stuck up for brothers. I don’t understand why people are rejecting, knowing that we r the entertainment for the nightly news. Especially when certain black women go on tv and defile themselves, bashing black men because they aren’t married.

      • The Truth

        Thank you for having a brain.  Folks need to stop looking for excuses and passing the blame.  Let’s embrace our heritage, and embrace the positive and work on the negatives.  For God’s sake can people get passed the light skin black woman vs the dark skin black woman.  I am a brown beautiful black woman who has no insecurities about my skin tone, and guess what, that’s because my father who is a chocolate black  man told me that no one is better than me.  That’s all I needed. So if we instill love for self in our children, we can get passed all the nonsense related to skin tone.

    • cleva

      But he was asked the question by Essence. Whomever wrote this omitted the question asked by Essence. He didn’t just randomly start talking about race.

    • Debbie Branch

      Wow, people.  The man is just giving his opinion.  He can’t solve these issues in our community.  We have to.  We as a people have to say “no” to drugs, “no” to men that don’t look like they will be good husbands/fathers.  We have to say “yes” to loving ourselves and those who love us.  We have to make more wise choices, and stop blaming so much for poor decisions.

  • Consuelalove

    a least somebody is stepping up for The Black Man. God, you people are so judgmental now a days, and when was the last time you said something nice about a black man, that did not pertain to his work ethic?

    • gaitow

      The black man is good.  The black man is good. The black man is good.  There! Something good has been said about the black man.

      • Sophia

        LOOOOL UR FUNNY

      • Love_Sexy

        LMAO!……Good one

  • JN31

    What the author failed to omit (obviously to gainspecific responses) were the questions leading up to his answers. The interviewer in Essence specifically asks:
    “ESSENCE: The media often tells Black women that they’re better off dating White guys. What’s your response to that?” which is what he responded to.

    Based on the article here, you’d think Robin Thicke was just giving unwarranted advice to Black women, but he was asked his general opinion. Instead of trying to get commenters riled up, Brande Victorian should have copied it in its true form.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=538073342 Rhonda Mitchell

      Exactly.

    • Sms

      right!

  • Live_in_LDN

    I’m embaressed that someone asked him that question.

  • Hmmmmmm

    “I know amazing Black men. Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.”
    He may have lost his black woman love card off this one. Don’t he know that black women are perfect in relationships. Fool….

    • Lower9Nupe

      (LOL) Funny isn’t it. What’s so sad is that the sistas here don’t even KNOW what they’re angry. They’re pissed because he had the audacity to imply that their lack of success (when it comes to getting and keeping a good black man) requires them to actually do something other than simply be a Black woman.

      It’s simple. Black women have equated their having babies out of wedlock, supporting worthless Black men, etc. with uplifting or supporting Black men as a whole. Guess what? You haven’t. All you’ve done is support the weakest of our communities and forgotten or failed to learn how do care for or support the best in our communities. 

      • reese

        No, I am married and granted I am married to a non black man.  I have had better success with non black men.  But it is all one sided.  Like the black men have no faults when bw have higher success rates with marriages with white men percentage rate.  We are lower than white women.  And black men’s divorce rate with non black women is even higher than with us so they have an issue too.  Secondly his wife is biracial.  He also states that he asks his wife to before he releases a song to see if she likes it to determine if black women will like it which was the most offensive comment.  We are not all the same.  What is the reason for the lack of black male’s success with marriage.

  • http://twitter.com/rich665 .

    There’s something fishy about this guy. Why does he have to mention he has a “black” wife in every interview? Black male stars don’t go around mentioning their white wives. Is he doing this to sell records? In reality Paula is like one shade away from being white. If he was black, would you still make as big a deal about his music?

    • adonia

      The amount of ignorance in this comment befuddles me… He mentions his wife because she is the most relevant aspect of his music. Have you ever listened to his songs…. Every song he writes is about her. She is his only love. He writes and sings love songs. The genre of music he sings happens to attract an audience of mostly black people. So when he does interviews people tend to ask about his relationship with his equally famous wife. You kno kind of how Will and Jada get brought up in one another’s interview. Also dont let me get started on “one shade away from being white”… Black comes in all colors fool! Rohin Thicke is proud of his wife. She could be blue. I earnestly believe he is just speaking out of a place of love.

      • Sugar_Spice

        I completely understand and agree with you on this one.  I think he is speaking out of love too. He’s been with his wife since high school so black is what he knows.

      • cleva

        Agreed.  He loves his wife.  he loves the blackness of her as well.  I really think folks are going in too hard on him. 

        • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

          Could be haters upset that he has a black woman for a loving wife…lots of people feel and believe that black women is not worthy or deserving of anything, much less true love and happiness.

    • Angelina

      I know right?!What’s up with that?We get it, you love black people!Is it neccessary to always put “Black” before mentioning his wife?I think it sounds a little ridiculous and trying to hard to ensure he’s accepted by the black community as a white man.

    • Ms_Sunshine9898

      maybe cause he happens to love his wife who happens to be black while doing an interview with a black magazine?

    • guest

      Are you jealous?  Do you even know good music?  He is also a talented producer.  His race has nothing to do with.  What a stupid comment.

  • Guest

    Now that a white man said it, maybe some of you will finally believe it.

    • gaitow

      I guess now he’s the great “white hope” against black women for the black man now. 

  • 2012

    Robin overstepped his boundaries just alittle bit on this one. Last time I checked, his wife was mixed with a European mother and African father. And even as a good black man (myself) I must admit it appears that he was tailoring the image of black men like high “single parenting and divorce rates” does not exist in the black community. Then he throws his own suggestions to the real black women like he honestly can relate because he has 20 black friends, yet, he openly admits that a White man doesn’t understand “your journey”….  yet he expect blacks to accept him -A White man- that he understands something about a black “journey.”
     
    The fact is every relationship is different and he should’ve just kept the conversation within his range.

    • Ralaez_7

      Last time I checked, any black in you, you’re black especially if you identify yourself as black which what she does. He specifically spoke about his experiences with his black male friends and their love for their wives and kids, of course we have divorces and single parenting. That wasn’t his point. Being a black male, he is right, SOME black women do need to be more supportive, encouraging and loving and not enabling, nagging and so independent that they forget how to share, in my black male opinion. His 20 year experience with his black wife and his black friends may not give him a full understanding but he does have an understanding that’s for damn sure. 

      • 2012

        Paula has a very, very, light complexion thus making her passable for White, and the lighter you are the more acceptable in society you are. Im sure his black male friends are also wealthy so I don’t expect him be able to relate with majority of black people relationships. Lets be real alot guys don’t have their ish together and you know it, but you don’t need me to tell you that because statistics clearly proves it. There is a big difference between 20 years of experience being around a mixed person and having black friends vs 20 years of experience being a black person and thats is for damn sure.

        • guest

          She can’t pass for whte.  If you think so, you need your eyes examined.  In this country, she is considered black period.  No one calls someone like her mixed.  If she is mixed then the entire black race is mixed since we all have a white person somewhere in our lineage.  You don’t know that a lot of his friends are wealthy.  I know rich people.  Does that make me rich?  You are very presumptious.

          • 2012

            Smh, Her mother is white, and you see what type of man she married, so you’re in denial!! And you knowing rich people vs actually hanging out and being in there circle of friends they claim is two different things. People general hang out with people in their status because its easier to relate. 
            Don’t quit your day job.

          • Guest187

            I’m gonna be real:  She is a Black woman but although she does not pass for White for me, she also barely looks Black to me.  She looks less Black than Halle Berry to me.  I saw the movie Mission Impossible and she was able to pass for Indian and she DEFINITELY looks like a mixed woman, who has Black in her.  Which she is. 

        • Debbie Branch

          Sometimes, I think the media shows the bad, because “drama” sells.  There may be a lot of broken families that are poor, but that is with whites too.  Poverty creates stress.  There are plenty of black men trying to do the right thing.  We as black women do sometimes act too independent.  There is nothing wrong with telling a person that you depend on them. 

      • Mystified

        Another negative saying about the black woman, the black woman. Black men always want to have someone or something to justify what they do and how they feel about a black woman.  I guess this white man put the last nail in the coffin for some of you black men against women.

        • Somebody

          Not true…As a black man, I don’t need anyone to justify anything I do because I do my damn self…some may, but not all. And I’m not about to jump on a pitty party ship for black women because alot of them have so much negative to say about black men. It’s a shame but it’s the truth. SAD

          • Mystified

            I don’t need anyones pity.  We as black people are all in the same boat. The white folks/other races don’t care about any of us.  I don’t understand why all this siding with other races against our own.  That’s what’s ashame.

            • Moro

              Wow! I beg to differ. We should all care about each other equally. All races have issues but we should all be open minded and accepting. We should all try to be the best person/friend/spouse that we can. Diversity is a blessing .

              • Rimasyele

                moron I mean Morocco u r beyond ignorant u need to watch Amos Wilson n mwalimu baruti on utube

              • 2012

                I agree we should all care about each other equally, however the average white man or woman cannot relate to Black peoples struggle, nor does the average White person care to because they haven’t been exposed to the same issues, (cops harrassing, teachers can’t relate to Black students, and majority of the population(Whites) look down on Blacks like we are expected to fail- even when we have degree’s from Harvard) this negative perception needs to stop, FIRST. In a perfect world YES diversity is a beautiful thing, however Not being treated faily soley based on skin color is the issue.

                • Guest

                  And what are bm doing about our struggle?  Are they securing jobs, protecting their women, children, family?  Why are people so worried about what the wm is doing when we cant handle our own business.  Take care of home first.  Are our men doing that?

                  • 2012

                    Who said anything about being worried about the wm? However logically speaking, they do account for 70% of the population so their perception of Blacks do matter! I admit Black men could do better (overall), but it doesnt help when women embrace men’s ignorance? Ex. having their baby when all signs show they’ll be a single-parent within 6-months. And that same broken home is a key source to where the bm struggle begins, beyond the already deeply seeded negative perception of being Black. Low income communities are exposed to significantly higher levels of drugs and lack of education programs. Then add ABC liquor stores and guns together and the fact lawyers and police care more about meeting their quota. Its crystal clear what the outcome will look like, hell put any race under certain social factors and the outcome will be the same (overall).

                    • Guest

                      True, too many bw embrace the ignorance that our men place upon our community.  But we cant keep blaming schools, police and others for our shortcomings.  What do you expect, someone to suddenly enter low income areas with a cure all.  People have to take responsibilty for themselves and not blame others for not coming to the rescue.  In the real world, people will be assed out expecting the white man on the white horse to wave his magic wand and fix our mess. You also expect liquor stores to disappear.  If people didnt want them in their neighborhoods they wouldnt be there.  Same goes for trash, drugs, prostitution, low performing schools, etc. It’s up to those residents to secure and better their neighborhoods.  Dont rely on others to do ou wont. 

                      And finally, black men are not holding us down.  Too many are the reasons why our neighborhoods arent safe and too many play ghost leaving women and children to fend for themselves.  If we have to worry about quotas, police brutality, low performing schools, etc. it would be nice to have our men around to be the leaders, head of households, providers, and protectors.  It is not a women’s place to take on this role, but many have had to do so.  So I ask again, what are bm doing to lessen our struggle? And why are you worried about what the white is not doing for us?

                    • 2012

                      There is no blame game, I provided very realistic variables using factual evidence that accounted for majority of the issues black people are faced with, STEP BY STEP! To be blunt if you think Black people can manage in America without the 70% of American population, YOU ARE A FOOL. Policies and regulations need changing, more educational funding needs to be available in lower income communities, BW need to stop having babies with bm that ain’t S***, THAT’S HOW WE BEGIN TO LESSEN THE STRUGGLE.

                    • Guest

                      Black people can manage a lot without expecting others to be the ones to make the changes for us.  Any change we have to make we have to do, but unfortunately we dont have our men to lead and in many cases even help.  Too many bm are a part of our problems..  You didnt speak about that…what part do our bm play? You didnt mention our men, but the 70% you spoke of.  So as bw we have to rely on the 70%… 

                    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

                      You are right on, especially about black women having babies with black men that aint SH!T! Sadly  too many blacks are so divided that I no longer see anything working out for us as a people. You have blacks that are married to whites that don’t even speak to other blacks and black men and black women don’t speak to one another, even in public.

                    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

                      while I agree with you, what about the ignorance that black men embrace…like the white standard of beauty?

                  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

                    No they are not and thank goodness I never expected them to…hell, even they don’t expect themselves to.

                  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

                    There are doing nothing at all…bashing black women…look at all of those hate filled anti black women vids on youtube, their message is clear, which is why I removed myself from the black community, stopped dealing with black men, married out moved on and am happier as a result. We as black women need to reclaim OUR lives and stop any form of wishful thinking whenever it comes to having anything positive with a black man.

                • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

                  Which is why I don’t care what anyone thinks of me…why should I, for what? I don’t see the benefit of concerning myself with what others think of me. I just remove and keep negative people out of my life and live. There is no need to seek anyone’s approval for anything concerning your life and well-being.

              • Mystified

                And like me, you have a right to your own opinion. But all this negative talk about black women is ashame.  It’s as though the black woman is not part of God ‘s creation. All we hear is the “black woman this or the black woman that.”  And I’m not asking for anyone’s pity.  There are plenty women out there doing things that they shouldn’t do. I feel black women are just as good as any other woman on this earth. Maybe better.

          • Guest187

            Wow, are you fore real?!  Look at the many Black celebrity men telling Black women what they need to do with themselves.  Some are making books out of it.  Some have made movies ridiculing how  some black women wear weaves when many White women wear it too. 
            Oh, and just check Youtube videos of the many Black men who are talking down about Black women. 

            • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

              Oh lets not get started on that sista! They are well aware of all of the anti-black women vids that litter youtube and the net…the way black men talk about black women’s hair, skin tone etc. proves that THEY are the ones that have been HOODWINKED…buying into the white standard of beauty. Calling us black bi!ches and hoes, who wants to deal with such a man? I will not apologize for NOT being a white woman.

        • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

          Er, no he didn’t that is wishful thinking on your part and nothing else. It is bitter black men like you that is the main problem here. This white man did nothing more than give HIS opinion…which accounts for nothing consider the numbers of black women marrying white and other non black men. It is all about  the respect, love and treatment of who you are with and race has nothing to do with it…hell you may very well have a white wife at home….you sound like you are nothing more than a pathetic typical black man.

      • Anonymous

        Apparentley BM need to learn something when it comes to marriages since you have  such a staggering divorce rate  in this country.

      • Guest187

        No offense Ralaez, seriously.  I want to speak to you on a serious note.  Black woman here.

        What do you mean that Black women need to be more encouraging?  I can understand that partly but I get so tired when i hear it constantly as if we are suppose to be mothering our men.  And men they should be!  I will only give a boost of encouragement to my man (as he should for me) but I will not push a man to be or become something that he did not have the initiative or the ambition to do and think for himself.  What must I enable a grown man for?  The “nagging” comes from the frustration of some men who are not ambitious in making themselves better if it has nothing to do with music or sports.  Please explain.  I really want to understand this.

      • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

        Wonder how many of those black male friends of him have black wives?

      • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

        You clearly don’t know what you are talking about, black men always want black women to do all of the giving while they do all of the taking. With black women, YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE…simple as that. Robin Thicke does not speak for me or any other black woman, if he is to speak for one, it is suggested that he speak for his wife! Sounds like he is appeasing his black friends. If you want a better black women then YOU need to be a better MAN, BLACK WHITE OR OTHERWISE!

    • Paradoxxxical

      Dude chill out it was just his opinion. Essence asked him the question. If you ask anyone about a subject controversial or not, they’re going to have an opinion which btw their entitled to.

      • 2012

        I agree. Everyone has an opinion, but as a mature celebrity you also understand the words you use will sometimes come back to bite you. The media will always ask celebrities controversial questions just to get top views and headlines for the day or week. Robin is no relationship expert as he’s only had 1 real relationship in his entire life, he should’ve just stuck with that. Not stating what black women have to do to get or keep a man.

        • guest

          And that is how it should be by and large…..going from women to women as most black men do along with breeding with whomever is not normal.  Maybe black men should stick to that instead of what they are doing.  No wonder we are the laughing stock.

    • Omonaijaa

      That last sentence says it all!

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

      Wonderful hearing from an intelligent black man that GETS IT!

  • superfly78

    I like him, but he seems as if he tries to hard. Like hes so politically correct about everything he says

    • Angelina

      I totally agree with you.Glad I’m not thR only one who feels that way about him.

    • Guest

      That’s the society we live in.  If he says anything non-pc, the media (and this website) has a field day.  No one can be honest about race anymore.

  • Charlesstewart1964

    A white man saying “there are plenty good black men and a few good white men.” We black men have been saying that for years, but now that a white man said, I guess its true.

    • Ralaez_7

      just one white man

      • Charlesstewart1964

        To some black people, that’s all it takes.

        • Mystified

          Yep! That’s all they need is the great white man “massa” to speak for them against the black woman.

          • sms

            Gimme a break. 

            • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=717821932 Kay Mcleod

              Look at this this way is he stated yes’ he would have been seen as a racist. He also stereotypes here and says if his wife likes it other black women will like his music. Very unintelligent wm who hangs around BM. And of course he was too dumb to day WM have higher employement rates than BM. Weak man. Noticed he used the phrase strong black woman..lol

              • Blah4one

                What are you even saying?

              • reese

                I agree with the stereotypes parts.  He says if his wife likes it bw will.  And talks like all bw are the blame for the issues that are going on.  Black women are indivisauls and the ones who are single all have different reasons. 

            • Girliusmaximus

              That’s what I was thinking

              • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

                Exactly! but then again, he has loads of black male friends so there you go.

        • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

          Not to me, or MOST black women for that matter. You need to tell this to your fellow black brothas who think so lowly and hatefully of black women. Hell it did not take this or any other white man to tell us this, after why do you think that so many black women rather be SINGLE THAN TO DATE A WHITE MAN? Guess you didn’t think about that.

      • Lee

        Even if a million white men said it, you wouldn’t believe it.

    • GUEST

      agreed and agreed

    • cleva

      Oh good lawd.  smh.  I’ve said it for years myself but I wouldn’t twist this into “white mans ice is colder” situation.  This is an article where her is giving his opinion. 

      • Guest 187

        Exactly, he even said himself that he does not know that many white people. He only has THREE white friends!  So how would he know? lol. 

        • Lower9Nupe

          Your interpretation is way off. He didn’t say anything about employment or graduation rates. He used the term “good”. Having a formal education or job doesn’t automatically equate to “good”. He has been afforded the opportunity since birth to surround himself with other affluent Whites but when the masks are off he gets to see who they really are and simply doesn’t like it. Good luck finding a White man who will understand YOUR journey. Ironic isn’t it. Here you have an affluent (from birth) White man who happens to be married to a gorgeous, successful Black woman telling you it’s NOT what it’s cracked up to be and you continue to believe what YOU want to believe. (lol)

          • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

            His opinion does not speak for my husband or any other white man out here, he is NOT the only white man out here that understands the BLACK WOMAN’S JOURNEY. Had to bust your bubble. So if you’re thinking about celebrating his statement…think again…I had better luck finding a white man that understands not only my journey but how to treat me…UNLIKE BLACK MEN. Everything I have and get from my husband is far out of reach with a black man.

            • Someone Famous

              Wow! I’m on the fence about the entire issue at hand.  I applaud your candor. 

              • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

                Thank you Some One Famous, it has to be known that black women are NOT to be restricted in any area of our lives and that black men are NOT  the black woman’s only option…Black women are just as deserving of love and respect as any other woman, yet we are under constant attack…mainly from black men…not having it.

            • Lee

              Talk about how much you love your husband without demeaning black men. There are plenty of white racists who do that. They don’t need your help.

        • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

          Thank you, he does not deal with enough whites to really know about ALL of them.

      • Caleb Ysryl

        Having a European education and a job doesn’t make u a “good” man any more than going to church every “Sun” day make u a spiritual person. The sooner we as black people stop using material egotistical frivolous standards to define what makes a “good” mate we most likely never find happiness

      • FromUR2UB

        Then why aren’t you with a white man?  You’re probably dipping into this web site and getting angry about what you read, because you’re with a black man, or want to be.  Calm down.

      • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

        Right as he does not speak for all white men or the white men that are married to and those that are engaged and dating black women.

    • Dede

      For me a BLACK WOMAN, it didn’t take for “massa” to say that a black man was good enough for me. I’ve been down with my brothers since the beginning. I’ve dated outside of my race twice and that was me dating Hispanic males. I LOVE black men. So don’t group all of us in one category thinking that we will run to the arms of Black men just b/c he said so, we never left. But if you want to be real, let’s talk about the amount of black men that date outside their race vs the number of black women that date outside of theirs. :-)
      #TEAMBLACKLOVE :-)

      Now with that said, I believe that love is love no matter what race is together and I believe that we shouldn’t be upset if/when someone chooses to date outside of their race, however, what bothers me if when you date outside your race and chalk it up to the fact that you didn’t find any good women in your own race. You’ll never find a good woman in your race if you’re always dating outside of it… My $.02! ;-)

      Dede

      • Dr. Kiti

        YES! Thank you for using your common sense! Why is it that black men can date green women and no one bats an eye; let me walk down the street with my white husband and suddenly I hate black men. I’m with you, I love black men. However, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. God didn’t create black Adam for black Eve and vice versa. Nope, we can all love and date who we want. Why can’t black men accept that while dating they’re dating ‘Becky’ I might be dating ‘Bob’? Isn’t it the same thing? #doublestandards

        • Some One Famous

          Thank you!  The same men who are eyeballing the sister with the White man wouldn’t even look in her direction if she were single.

    • reese

      No, alot of us are baffled as to why he was even asked this question.  What makes him an expert because he is married to a black woman(biracial one at that).  It is weird that they are discussing this after complaining about all the media flack around bw’s prospects. 

      • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

        What gets me is why the media is so concerned about the black woman’s prospects anyway like it is any of their business?

    • Guest

      The funny thing about this statement is if he said ‘there are a few good black men’ it would be all over CNN.  

      But when he says ‘few good white men’ he gets praised.

      Sounds like he’s just racist to me, like you.

      • reese

        But honestly.  He couldn’t say yes white men are the answer to save bw’s problem when 90% of his fan base is bw.  How would he sound saying white men are the answer.

    • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/LMVI6QGGVLHIAIVA6NXW3SZQWI BROWNIE

      Yes he is right, at the end of the day a man is a man, You black men have been saying that for years, but that has not really been seen. No disrespect, but him saying this does not mean black women did not know this; black women DO know this, which is why MOST black women do not date white men. Now can the same be said about black men? No it can’t, and the high numbers of black men marrying and dating anything but a black woman proves that…Seems like black men don’t understand their journey either, otherwise black men would treat black women better, yet too many don’t.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jon.stone2 Jon Brown Fambrough-Stone

      It’s always been true, it doesn’t take a white man to say it or verify it

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