Whipped: Celebrity Women Who Take Control of Their Men

December 29, 2011  |  

"Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony"

There are three types of celebrity couple photos that the paparazzi captures: each person either looks blissfully in love or each person looks completely pissed off/annoyed at the other. But, what about the third type of photo? The photos of totally ballbusting females laying the law down on their men—wagging their finger at them and making them carry their purse? Surely they exist. We suspect they exist of these women and their submissive sidekicks:

"Jolie-Pitt family"

Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt—rated one of America’s hottest men by countless publications—was buzzing around, being a hottie, breaking hearts and then BAM. Angelina locked him down and got him to adopt a few dozen kids with her. It takes a strong woman to convince Brad that fatherhood will be more fun than being the most sought after bachelor…or adulterer.

"Beyonce"

Beyoncé

She is an icon for female power. In her songs she throws all of her ex’s belongings on the front lawn and she bounces if she doesn’t get a diamond ring on time. She simply cannot be anything less than the dominant one, or she would have a nation of disappointed fans.

"Katy Perry"

Katy Perry

Katy is clearly a little nuts. Her wardrobe only gets more outlandish every time we see her. Someone who craves that much attention probably likes a quiet, nerdy type who just stares in awe at her from the corner. Maybe a clash of attention-seeking personalities are behind the rumors that Perry and husband, Russell Brand are having problems.

"Salma Hayek"

Salma Hayek

Look at those eyes. Salma permanently mimics the same eyes your mom gave you when you were a kid. You know, the ones that would get you to confess everything you had ever done wrong.

Zoe Kravitz

She’s small, but so are ninjas. And with a dad like Lenny, no doubt she is a freak in the bedroom. And a freak in the bedroom can get a man  to do just about whatever she wants outside the bedroom.

"Eve with white boyfriend"

Eve

Simply because she got this white guy to dress like her.

"Mariah Carey"

Mariah Carey

Mariah allegedly requests a personal straw holder for her drinks. And who do you think that job goes to when the assistant isn’t around?

"Jennifer Lopez"

Jennifer Lopez

A Latina woman knows exactly when to be sweet to draw a man in and then just when to bring her Beyotch out to lock him down. J Lo, with her odd mixture of roles as the A$$-kicking, only survivor in Anaconda and helpless, voiceless maid in Maid in Manhattan, is probably no exception.

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  • Ahahahaha. The one about Eve was hilarious. Especially with the picture and the words ” This white guy” like he’s some random from the street.

  • reese

    how stupid this article is…………….

  • Nikolehoward

    Beyonce is a southern, submissive wife. There’s nothing wrong with it, she’s still a strong female, she just understands her role in the relationship.

  • Kimcake

    My friend just met a black man on Blackwhitemeet.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
    It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.

  • I think Bey might actually be more like Deena in Dreamgirls. She definitely doin her thing career wise, but do you REALLY see Jigga bein a sucker? NAH. Didn’t think so!

  • CLAUDIUS_PTOLEMY

    This is one of the poorest articles I’ve read all week.  Not to mention that there were little to no facts stated to back up any of the claims, must be a slow news day.

  • Love_Sexy

    I always felt Angelina Jolie ran Brad so no big suprise there…..You can tell she has a strong personality.

    • JustSaying_IMFO

      Just look at Brad and his ladies through history. He was being run by all of them.

      • Love_Sexy

        Now you are on point with that one…..LOL!

  • eclecticspectrum

    I used to visit this site daily. Now whenever I click on one your links I cross my fingers and hoe that I won’t be annoyed and/or disgusted with what I read.

  • OK I give up. Madame Noire, you are 90% crap. The person that wrote this article should be shot.


    We suspect they exist of these women and their submissive sidekicks.”  <—REALLY?! *This* is the level of garbage you expect Black women to settle for? "Whipped"? Really?Please step up your game, and quickly. I wouldn't invest a dime of my marketing budget to an e-mag so poorly written and edited. 

  • This is one stupid article!!  The time I spent reading this article I can ne
    ver get back!!

  • Kcrawfco

    Get Real……. J LO? No way was she running Marc Anthony. Beyonce???? She’s only strong in lyrics, and those she didn’t even write.

    • Love_Sexy

      Yes….I have to agree with you.

  • ctbabydoll

    sure and he ain’t gonna say no after she nearly died to have their adorable twins five weeks prematurely last April. when the woman is clearly the bigger star the husband is obviously gonna be on a short leash

  • HonestyIsTheBestPolicy

    wow. Mariah carey does look like the type who tells her husband to fetch things for her