Whipped: Celebrity Women Who Take Control of Their Men

December 29, 2011  |  
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There are three types of celebrity couple photos that the paparazzi captures: each person either looks blissfully in love or each person looks completely pissed off/annoyed at the other. But, what about the third type of photo? The photos of totally ballbusting females laying the law down on their men—wagging their finger at them and making them carry their purse? Surely they exist. We suspect they exist of these women and their submissive sidekicks:

Angelina Jolie

Brad Pitt—rated one of America’s hottest men by countless publications—was buzzing around, being a hottie, breaking hearts and then BAM. Angelina locked him down and got him to adopt a few dozen kids with her. It takes a strong woman to convince Brad that fatherhood will be more fun than being the most sought after bachelor…or adulterer.

Beyoncé

She is an icon for female power. In her songs she throws all of her ex’s belongings on the front lawn and she bounces if she doesn’t get a diamond ring on time. She simply cannot be anything less than the dominant one, or she would have a nation of disappointed fans.

Katy Perry

Katy is clearly a little nuts. Her wardrobe only gets more outlandish every time we see her. Someone who craves that much attention probably likes a quiet, nerdy type who just stares in awe at her from the corner. Maybe a clash of attention-seeking personalities are behind the rumors that Perry and husband, Russell Brand are having problems.

Salma Hayek

Look at those eyes. Salma permanently mimics the same eyes your mom gave you when you were a kid. You know, the ones that would get you to confess everything you had ever done wrong.

Zoe Kravitz

She’s small, but so are ninjas. And with a dad like Lenny, no doubt she is a freak in the bedroom. And a freak in the bedroom can get a man  to do just about whatever she wants outside the bedroom.

Eve

Simply because she got this white guy to dress like her.

Mariah Carey

Mariah allegedly requests a personal straw holder for her drinks. And who do you think that job goes to when the assistant isn’t around?

Jennifer Lopez

A Latina woman knows exactly when to be sweet to draw a man in and then just when to bring her Beyotch out to lock him down. J Lo, with her odd mixture of roles as the A$$-kicking, only survivor in Anaconda and helpless, voiceless maid in Maid in Manhattan, is probably no exception.

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