Don’t Dumb It Down to Snag a Guy

December 16, 2011  |  

by Jane Atkinson

Recently, it was reported that Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s advice was to “dumb it down” if you wanted to snag your man.


Is this what fabulous, intelligent women are reduced to these days…. games?

Ya, I’m gonna pass on the millionaire, Patti, especially if he’s looking for a vacuous bimbette to serve as arm candy.

And gentlemen, I would be surprised if you weren’t questioning this as well. If you’re going to spend the next 20, 30 or 40 years with someone, wouldn’t you like to have an intelligent conversation once in awhile?

FULL DISCLOSURE: On my path to finding my perfect partner, on many occasions I thought, “What am I doing wrong?” In sheer frustration, I’m pretty sure I might have tried something as ridiculous as dumbing it down.

Fortunately, it dawned on me right around my 40th birthday.

I wasn’t truly open to love; I was way too comfy and safe in my stylish little condo built for one. I had a successful consulting business, travel, great friends and family. The walls had gone up and even though I paid lip service to wanting true love, I really kept it at bay.

We’ve all heard that amazing Marianne Williamson quote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
And fearful I was. I was playing small and safe in my little cocoon.


Intelligent ladies, I challenge you.

I challenge you to check in and ask yourself if you are playing small. What is it that you truly want?

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Love_Sexy


  • reese

    Their are some men who are intimidated by intelligent or successful women.  But why would you want any of them.  I want a man who is secure, successful and intelligent.  Who is looking for the same.  Some men are so insecure that they go after women they have to same thinking that it will keep her with him.

  • glamrabbit25

    This is so inspiring. 😀 I was closed up all of 24 years of my life. Until one day I noticed this man smiling at me wanting to get to know me. I would slightly push him away, because I put my education first which is the right thing to do. However, there are other women and men that can date while getting an education so from that day on…I said, Now I am open to love someone… Let’s see how long it will take me…. I’ll keep you all posted! *quote me* 😀

  • The_Transcended_One

    there are just as many dumb women as men GTFOH

    • reese

      True, I don’t think she is saying that.  But the key is finding intelligent ones because there are more dumb people than intelligent by far.

  • creogrl

    It’s all about the big “C” communicate !  I’ve been single/divorced for a while but i have yet to meet a man who can communicate !  Well date a man who can ;/ so i just want to say ;o speak/talk ! 

  • guest

    I would rather have a women on my side that corrects me if I’m wrong than a women who tries to “spare my feelings” all the time. But it works both ways. Usually people are not inclined to listen to people we don’t respect. And no on likes a “know it all” as Keke said. Most people of late just come of as know it all rather than an intelligent person.

  • L-Boogie

    Eff dumbing it down.  If you cannot take it — move out the way!

  • No man likes dumb woman. Theres a difference between acting like a “know it all” and being intelligent. And any man who can’t handle a smart female, needs to be left alone,.

  • Zaria1432 Eh

    I agree it’s an interesting article. I’m not sure about the idea of dumbing down. sounds like really poor advice.. well, I guess it all depends on whst the ontentions are…if their looking for a short term thrill who pays the bills,But if your looking for a substantial long term relationship, that dumbing down is gonna get old..Real matter how beautiful they are.

  • NikkitaMichelle

    Interesting article.  But I think Patti’s advice was more so geared for trying to snag a millionaire.  Successful men typically have egos larger than there bank accounts at times, and as together as you might be I think her advice was leading more so like don’t put yourself in a situation where you and the millionaire are competing at who’s smarter or who has more life experience. No man wants to compete with his woman. 

    • Some men do. Sometimes i think that’s why my brother an sister in law are doing so well. They compete in everything-even video games! The key is making it a competition but not a fight.

      • NikkitaMichelle

        It’s great they can have a healthy comepitition and still have love.  But, Desi Arnez and Lucille Ball, Kris H. and Kim K., Bobby and Whitney, etc.  A lot of times it causes mad drama when a dude’s woman is doing far better than he’s doing.  A lot of men find it emasculating.  Our men have to compete with the rest of the world most don’t want to come home and have to fight there too.

  • Snag

    I think men are more likely to dumb it down than women

    • Guest

      No honey. Many, not all, but many men don’t value education and intellectual convo like women do. If he seems stupid- its because he is stupid. 

      • Love_Sexy