Facebook is Making Us Miserable, Just Ask this Guy

December 15th, 2011 - By Brande Victorian

Do you remember what life was like before you cared what people you would never interact with on a daily basis in person were doing every waking minute? It’s hard to remember, but it’s likely you weren’t comparing your life to there’s—because honestly you had no idea what they were up to.

Author Daniel Gulati, a blogger for Harvard Business Review, says all that TMI information shared online is creating a subconscious “ranking” among friends when we compare someone’s online “status” to our real lives.

“Facebook is making us unhappy by making everyone else look really, really happy,” he says.

The social networking site also leads to a loss of productivity in work and leisure and can negatively affect close, in-person relationships.

“Meeting up in person, you get a much richer connection versus a video chat or a text-based chat.  It’s cannibalizing the offline interaction. That’s what’s worrying to me — the future prospect of Facebook conversations and video calls as opposed to meeting up at the local coffee shop,” he says.

“Facebook is bringing down a lot of people’s daily sense of well-being.”

So how can you fix it? By setting aside a daily time to visit Facebook and taking one day off per week. You should also get rid of all those apps on your mobile phone and “strengthen real-world relationships,” he says.

I think it’s much easier to set aside time to look at Facebook than Twitter because of the constant updates, but every time I’ve even tried to take a break from the site, like clockwork I would get a text message from a friend asking, “did you see such and such’s status?” I think we’re stuck with the Internet monster we’ve created.

Do you find yourself comparing your real life to the “lives” of your Facebook friends? Do you feel like Facebook limits your productivity and hurts your real-life relationships?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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  • Really?!?!

    Sorry I couldn’t make it past the first paragraph due to grammatical errors- as usual! How do u mistake there’s (as in there is) with theirs??? Wth is writing these articles? MN u should be ashamed! Why not just hire some QUALIFIED writers? They really aren’t that hard to find. Most of the ppl who comment on these articles (myself included) have stronger writing skills than the authors. Don’t u know how much credibility u lose when u post articles that are full of errors?

    • EasyReader

      Couldn’t have said it better myself. At the very least, there is a little something called editing that works wonders in fixing grammatical errors. 

    • Sophie

      you’re a troll. clearly you should be writing these articles since you’re so great right?

  • Sheezamazin

    Yes!!! I deleted my FB a couple of days ago which was the third time I had deleted my account although this time I dont plan on going back. It destroys lives and generally it was making me unhappy because yes I was comparing myself and life to others. From the way I look, dress to how much money I was making or my job or car. Im on twitter now and its really no different beside the fact that I dont know half of the people that follow me so I dont feel like i have that much to prove.

  • Torontochick

    Facebook negatively impacted my romantic relationship. That’s when I decided that that ish had to go.

  • Torontochick

    I quit Facebook months ago. I feel liberated.

  • Sugar_Spice

    FB has caused some of my friendships to deteriorate & I never even had an account.  Now I don’t blame the site I blame the users but I noticed a lot of cowards use it as an outlet to be bold & cause drama instead of discussing issues like an adult.

  • F3ral Anarchy

    ive always said if facebook is ruining your life you need to take a step back and check your life not the got damn application.

    • Girliusmaximus

      Best advice I’ve heard all day…

  • Sevn

    I agree Freebee33, i got up there back in 2005 for the same reason due to college, deactivated it one year later, reactivated in 2009 and deactivated a few months after that, lol. Fb just caused issues in relationships for me and I would hate how much time i spent up there looking at what was going on in other people’s lives. It makes you curious, but would I really care to know/see if Fb didn’t exist….no! Luckily, I don’t get as many “why aren’t you on Fb?” as I used to!!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DNXVG2ECONRBABNKEVGJSABOG4 Sharie

    I agree with the below comments. I’m over Facebook. I didn’t like the way it was making me feel over all. I value real relationships & I’m very happy after letting it go.

  • freebee33

    I signed up for Facebook when it first came out, back when it was only for college students. It was useful back then to keep up with college friends, campus events and organizations I was in. After I graduated I didn’t see much use for it. After awhile I did start comparing my life to the lives of people I hardly even knew and I hated that. So I cancelled my account a year ago, and couldn’t be more happy about that decision. My real friends know how to get in contact with me, I don’t need to see random pics and updates from strangers lol.

  • IAMWOMAN

    I haven’t posted anything on FB in over 4 months.  I have better things to do (like read MN, hehe).  People have wondered where I’ve gone but those people that REALLY count in my life have my cell # and can text or call.  The trend of people getting over FB is starting to pick up steam. 

    • MrsIndependent

      agreed!  i’m bored with the site

  • Sevn

    To each his own. Smh.