7 Negative Thoughts To Stay Away From When Single

December 19th, 2011 - By Julia Austin

"Woman bored on date"

After you’ve been single for a while and all of your friends seem to be coupling up, it can be so hard to remember that it’s as simple as this: you just haven’t found the right guy yet. But you have to remember that, otherwise negative thoughts like these seep in and make it impossible to find him:

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  • Veratta Pegram-Floyd

    How about, I live in Seattle, WA and because interracial dating is so excepted in WA that the Black men here are not checking for me? I have nothing against interracial dating, I have done it myself but I have found that other cultures of men really do not understand me. What do I do (or think) if I am in a city where no one is checking for women of my hue?

    • reese

      I live in Tacoma, Washington and I am dark skinned sister.  I had dated mostly nonblack men before I got married.  There are men for you out there don’t give up or you might consider moving to another area.

  • Smmmoke

    Good article. It provides some great insight. As a single guy I can honestly say that some of these feelings creep inside of our heads too.

    I’d add one more to the list:
    Feeling that you are incomplete or need a partner to be truly happy.

    Women should understand (like many men do) that no partner will make them happy. Happiness is a daily journey and not a destination. It ebbs and flows with your life and is not always controllable but the effort to achieve it is definitely controllable.
    Completeness is an individual feeling and is linked to happiness. I think completeness is achieved when a person is exploring themselves and what they truly want to do. Completeness as a couple can be achieved as well but is still a different thing.

    Thanks for reading and an early Happy New Year to you all!

    • Veratta Pegram-Floyd

      I completely agree.

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  • Getit!

    This actually makes sense, not the usual fluff piece. Thank you for sharing.

  • L-Boogie

    Great article!

  • reese

    I disagree with a couple of things.  Everyone is not relationship material.  Some people have deep issues that they need to deal with before they are ready for relationships.   You might need to work on you,  And some men and women are too picky.  If you have a list that excludes 99.9% of the population you might be too picky. 

    • Getit!

      They are relationship material, too much material or that weird pattern that gets left at the store.  That weird pattern will catch someone’s eye eventually.

      • reese

        no, I am not talking about being overlooked, but there are some who can find men without any problem.  But they cannot keep them because of various issues.  There are some people who die without being married and it is not always everyone else’s fault.

    • Thesubms

      0.01% of the population is still approximately 6.8 million people. I only want one.

    • Delis

      You’ve negated your first point.  If someone has issues to work on before they enter a relationship they are still relationship material they just aren’t ready to be in a relationship at that point in time.  Secondly an extensive list isn’t about being picky, that’s about creating an obstacle,usually based on fear to keep yourself safe.  An honest realistic ‘list’ for want of a better word is not being picky, it’s about having standards

  • Mrsindependent

    Great article Jaustin. Ive had all these thoughts before then I wised-up. While I do think everyone should evaluate themselves when a dating/relationship fails even if its not ur fault. There’s always room for improvement, however the reality is that the numbers work against us sisters for good black men. So u can be perfect or the flawless woman and still not find a good.black man. They are out there, but its like looking for a needle in a haystack

  • tastythoughts

    i really enjoyed this article….