You Know You’re Getting Old When…
It happens to the best of us. Especially the best of us. Every single moment of your fabulous life, you’re getting older. Sure, you can lolligag and pretend it’s not happening, squander your youth doing and worrying about things (really) old people know is dumb, but as days turn into weeks, and months pile on the years, you’ll wake up one morning and wonder where the time went.
Ideally plenty of wisdom comes with age, but you get a whole lot more out of the deal too. Old(er) age comes with plenty of those tale-tell signs that a rocking chair and pilgrimage to a warm and sunny climate where your bones don’t snack, crackle and pop is your inevitable destiny.
Oh yea, you’re getting old, young person. And you KNOW it when,
You need a nap.
When part of getting ready for a big night out with the girls includes a nap, you’ve definitely getting oldish. They say we go out the way we come in. Babies have weak muscles and frail limbs. So do old people. Children wear diapers. As do many old folks. Likewise, kids do better with naps. And so do you, old lady.
You really need that seat.
It’s common courtesy, at least for some of you, to give up your seat for old folks. You know they need it. Gravity has been weighing down on their aging body for decades. But lately, if you’ve been feeling like you’re the one that really needs seat on the bus or train, it’s safe to say you are no longer a spring chicken.
More like an old hen.
You feel the Internet changes too often.
I had MySpace first and resisted getting a Facebook account when everybody started talking about it. Now I’m on Facebook and they keep switching things around, and it’s confusing, annoying and should stay the same. Then Twitter came on the scene but I won’t dare go near it. What’s the point of it anyway? Now there’s something called Google+ and it’s all getting just a little ridiculous.
Any of this sound familiar?
That’s because old people (you) resist change. The more years you stack on the more set in your ways you become. Rapid changes, the hallmark of information technology and the social web, naturally rub you the wrong way.
POS, SMDH, GNOC mean nothing to you.
Think about this: there are kids about to enter freshman year of college that have no idea what life was like before sms/instant messaging. An entire generation of younger folks are growing up communicating with gadgets in new ways, especially when it comes to tech-slang and lingo.
Surely, you know all about the abbreviation “lol,” but what about “POS,” “SMDH,” and “GNOC?” If you’re not in the know on the latest lingo, it’s probably because you’re almost over the hill.
POS = Parent Over Shoulder — A warning to your mates to keep it clean. Used mostly by teens and stay-at-home children.
SMDH = Shaking My Damn Head — One level above smh
GNOC = Get Naked On Camera — Self explanatory.
You think “they don’t make them like they used to” at least once a week.
Whether it’s entertainment, cars, family values or slices of pizza, the world of today just doesn’t seem to live up to the standards you got used to, oh, maybe a decade ago.
When you’re young, you can’t help but have a bright-eyed, zest for life in all its exciting varieties. After a few upsets, things start becoming predictable and you get a little jaded. After that happens, few things compare to how things were back in the day.
Careful–you’re starting to sound just like your parents. And you know they’re old.
You get winded with no athletics involved.
Being young isn’t just a state of mind, it’s also a state of body. Few things wear down like getting old. Your vibrant twenties were wasted on limited body movements and pretending exercise is for other people. Moving into your 30s and on, your body begins a rapid decline in resilience, bringing on all kinds of weird aches, pains and panting from simple stuff like climbing a flight of stairs.
It’s just a matter of time before you need a cane.
You Need Makeup
You’re a natural beauty and never needed concealer, or other cosmetics. Or so it was for many, many years. Now when you look in the mirror, you see a few lines and folds that you’d rather not.
Maybe you didn’t notice it until a really good friend decided to level with you on aging gracefully with the support of primers, moisturizing foundations and creamy blushers.
Not that you need to go crazy or anything, just a touch up here and there to highlight your strengths and diminish the fact that–well–you’re getting older.