Lies Women Tell Their Friends To Make Them Feel Better
No one likes to be the bearer of bad news to a friend. And we’ve all gone through the anxieties of dating—of not being called back, of not being called at all, of having our date flirt with the bartender…and along the way, we’ve come up with some “explanations” for these events that have made us feel better. Of course, in the end, we learned that we were only fooling ourselves. But when our friend is hurting, sometimes we just want to fool her…I mean comfort her…rather than break the bad news just yet. So we say this:
“He was just being nice.”
Your friend’s man is blatantly flirting with someone else at a party, and to ease her humiliation you tell her it’s just in his nature to be friendly and that he probably didn’t even realize that that girl was interested in him. Come on—men have a mean radar for when they are being flirted with. They’ve spent their lives intentionally developing it. He knew. And he was flirting.
“Maybe his phone died, he has no service, he lost it or it was stolen”
A man has taken hours, or even a couple days to get back to your friend. Phones do get stolen. Phones die. Some places have bad service. But never do all of these things happen back to back over a multiple day period. Not to mention, he could just use Facebook or email if he really wanted to contact her.
“Men go through dry spells too”
Your friend complains that her boyfriend hasn’t been in the mood to have sex for weeks. You tell her men go through dry spells just like women do. And it’s true—they do. I mean, I think maybe one man in the history of the male species may have once…Come on! Men are sexual creatures. One night he isn’t into it—okay. But a couple weeks? Something is up.
“He looked awful and he seemed miserable”
You tell your friend this after you ran into the ex who dumped her. When realistically, he seemed really happy, laid back and looked great. Also—it’s just immature for your friend to take pleasure from the fact that someone who rejected her isn’t doing well.
“Maybe he’s telling the truth!”
A guy dumps your friend and says it’s because he is just too busy with work, or just not ready for a relationship with anyone at all. You tell her those are perfectly valid points. But we all know how love works from first hand experience—you either fall in it or you don’t. And he didn’t. For the right girl, he would make time in between work and he would be ready for a relationship.
“Maybe he’s not sure if you want it”
A guy your friend is seeing won’t lay a finger on her in public, or hasn’t asked her out again. You tell her maybe he is intimidated by her. Maybe he doesn’t know if she is into PDA, or if she is even into him and would want a second date. There are two reasons this logic is no good: 1) if (and that’s a BIG if) it is correct, she shouldn’t be with a man anyways who doesn’t have the balls to touch her in public or ask her out again if he really likes her and 2) It’s probably just not correct. If he likes her, he steals a kiss. He asks her back out.
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