Ask a Very Smart Brotha: Short Dudes & Caribbean Cuties

December 7, 2011  |  


I’m a 35 year old mother of 3 and recently started dating a 25 year old man. He has a career, knows how to treat a lady, has one child, responsible and other things that I look for in a man. However, I have doubts in my head about our age difference and yet another one, HEIGHT! lol He is 5’8 and I’m 5’11. I never thought I’d be dating a shorter man, let alone a much younger man. Am I being unrealistic? Or do you think a younger man could actually want something long term with an older, taller woman?


Unsure About Short Suitor


Dear Unsure About Short Suitor,

Out of all of the characteristics men and women use to eliminate potential love interests, I have to say that “He’s a great guy, but he’s a little shorter than me.” amuses me the most. Why? Well, when you ask the woman why exactly they couldn’t date a man shorter than them, 9.9 times out of 10 the answer has nothing to do with her and everything to do with everyone else. They then usually try to justify this feeling with a scenario that will never, ever, ever, ever happen.

 “How’s it going to look when I’m wearing my 9 inch heels on a date and the waiter tries to hit on me because he assumes my man is my little brother?”

“How’s it going to look when I bring him to the family reunion and his A$$ is the last person picked for volleyball?”

“What if we get married and his short A$$ gets lost underneath my gown? Who’s going to want to look at those wedding pictures???”

Now, I understand why most women would prefer to be with a man who’s at least as tall as they are. From what I understand, it helps some women feel safer and, more importantly, more feminine. But, at the same time, many of the evolutionary reasons why it was necessary to have a bigger/taller men don’t really exist anymore. There are no wooly mammoths on the Saks Fifth Serengeti. Wooly crackheads, maybe, but all you need to guard yourself from them is sunlight.

Also, Unsure About Short Suitor, I don’t want to be too offensive, but 35 year old women with multiple children may have to make some, um, “adjustments” to their standards if they want to be coupled up. Not saying you need to settle for a wack guy, but if a man has a ton of qualities you’re looking for, it’s probably not in your best interests to pass him up because he didn’t come in the right package. If you’re not careful, that package may be the last good gift you get for a long time.


Damon Young (aka The Champ)

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  • juliart

    why does google update regularly

  • Kath

    And girl, that man’s taken, then you write asking for advice when u get used and a broken heart. Get your own man, already!

  • Cchigbu23

    I am 5’11” and have been dating a shorter man 5’7″ for three years. Neither of us mind and no one has said anything to us. But, I will tell you this- much shorter men have small man syndrome and landing a  tall woman is definately like medicine to them. Make sure he isn’t getting with you just to validate himself.
    p.s. And don’t ever ever ever look down at him during a fight and point (It won’t go over well)

  • Is It 5:00 Yet?

    “Also, Unsure About Short Suitor, I don’t want to be too offensive, but
    35 year old women with multiple children may have to make some, um,
    “adjustments” to their standards if they want to be coupled up…If you’re not careful, that package may be the last good gift you get for a long time.”

    Lol, this is true. Standards are higher for women. On the other hand, if it was a man, as long as his pockets were fat it wouldn’t matter.

  • Kaciem125

       Lol this is funny. All the issues about finding a good hard working black man and you are whining about him being a few inches shorter than you. We are all the same height in the horizontal position. Let me get this right. Job, profession I assume he is willing to be good to your children and a few inches is what concerns you the most, not even an important 2 inches, lol. Sisters what is really going on with you?

  • Ellen

    I worked with a woman who was 5’11” and her husband was 5’8″. When they were engaged she flew to ND to met the new in-laws. Her (to be) FIL was 5’8″, her tb MIL was 6’2″. All of her in-laws were average height men married to Tall (6ft +) women. She became the short DIL. There are places where that isn’t unusual at all. Men (for certain) like tall women, and some women like short men. To each his own.

  • Tammy

    Sooooo she left her boyfriend of 11 years because the guy didn’t have a career only to consider a guy from Jamaica that has no papers and wouldn’t be able to get his footing here right away….

    • Girliusmaximus

      Not to mention he aint trying to be where she is and he’s already with someone else… He was a rebound to brighten her day. No more, no less. She needs to move on.

  • Dynamiquedo

    Looove the additions! ! Na kufi ko seka! !

    • Snlecualum

      Lingala! Wow! This is off the topic but i just had to acknowledge that you were speaking my language…btw I died laughing at the additions as well…

    • lover of lovers

      Wow lingala? Gurl you made my evening seeing my language in an unexpected place felt weird and made me happy lol. Love my language and God bless my congo. Kabila zonga na rwanda lmbo

    • 123

      When I was in Kenya last year, I went to a Lingala club and it was AMAZING! Great music, great dancing, great food. 

  • LOL @ wooly crackhead and the additions to the 2nd letter. You are too much. And btw I am Jamaican too so I understand why she feel for ole boy so quickly. We are hard to resist lol.

    • Kath


  • OSHH

    LOL @ your additions on the second letter.