On To the Next One: Celebs Who Need a Break From Man Hopping

December 2, 2011  |  

If Dr. Drew could take a break from talking about interracial dating and trying to figure out black women’s hair, I’d like him to get J Lo, Eva Longoria, and Demi Moore in a room and tell them to have a seat. These women take the phrases “on to the next one” and “here today, gone tomorrow” to a whole new level when it comes to relationships.

Demi Moore might deserve a little slack, there’s no confirmation that she’s really dating beauty mogul Scott-Vincent Borba, and after six years with Ashton Kutcher, she probably needs something new; but the ink was barely dry on the divorce papers when Eva Longoria started showing up in photos with Eduardo Cruz (and she may potentially be creeping with Matt Barnes).

The worst serial monogamist of them all is J Lo. There has barely been a minute to write an article about this chic and who she’s dating as quickly as she switches it up—Marc Anthony, Bradley Cooper, Casper Smart, Marc Anthony again—nobody knows, and that’s just recent J Lo. Diddy, Ben Afleck, and Chris Judd were also substituted pretty quickly back in the day. Until Rihanna recently declared her disdain for the single life, she received similar side eyes for her suspected man hopping from Chris Brown to Matt Kemp to Colin Farrell to Dudley O’Shaughnessy, and whoever else in between.

I know celebs tend to march to a different drum somewhere high up on a pedestal coated in gold and laced with Swarovski crystals, but I think the breathing period in between men is a universal dating recommendation these women missed the memo on. People are particularly concerned about J Lo vacationing with a new man and her kids so soon, although presumably, as her backup dancer, Casper may have already known the twins before he and Jenny from the Block became more than coworkers.

All of these women seem to suffer from a need to have a man around, and that can be pretty dangerous when you’re already vulnerable after a recent break up. I know sometimes you just want to get back out there and find someone to preoccupy your time, but getting boo’d up too quickly reeks of I-need-a-man-to-be-happy syndrome and may be the reason these ladies haven’t been so lucky in love overall. All I’m saying is 3 months of solitude wouldn’t kill you would it, ladies?

Who are some other stars who never seem to stay single for long? How soon do you think is too soon to start dating after a breakup?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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