Corny Brothas: Celebrity Men Who Fuel The Cornball Industry
Corny means different things to different people. Personally, I don’t dislike corny people but I’d rather not be doing dinner dates with corny men. Corny, to me, involves being into fluff, being partially fake, and just lacking any type of swagger. And like I said, that ain’t a bad thing but…
There’s no better way to illustrate what I consider corny to be than to highlight some of the celebrity brothas in the game who exude that special combination of swagger-lackin and the ability to force laughter at the drop of a dime. All these guys are cute from afar but up close, when they open up their traps, it’s game over.
Let’s start off with the King of Corny, P.Diddy. We have to hand it to him though. He loves himself some cornball fluff and so does the world apparently. Diddy has built an empire from his compeltely unapologetic approach to music, business, and showboating!
Oh Taye, you had us at “Hallo” in your debut as the Hot young buck on How Stella Got Her Groove Back. But all that swag went out the door once we heard you talk in your real voice. Seeing Diggs name cast in a Black film always makes me cringe. He can’t feign “cool” for nothing. His corniness really got to shine when he played opposite Sanaa Lathan in Brown Sugar. Could we really believe that he was cool and composed enough for Ms. Lathan? Nope.
There’s a reason the Hollywood sisters stay away from Howard. The man is C-ORNY! But I do have to say that he is a stellar actor. It was a little jarring to see him in Hustle & Flow as the tortured Memphis pimp and then see him in interviews talking in a way that completely lacked any of the flavor he exuded on screen.
Do you remember the lyrics to Nick Cannon’s Gigolo single of 2003? Let me remind you:
“I’m a gigolo, spending lot’s a dough
You can tell the way wide-body, sitting on vogues
And how I’m shining, wit the fresh, fresh clothes
Always surrounded, by so many (HO!)”
Granted, R.Kelly sang the chorus of Cannon’s debut single, but Cannon himself owned all the corny appeal of the song’s ill-advised pomposity. Maybe he was following in the footsteps of the equally corny music career of his mentor Will Smith. Like so many of our corny brothas, Cannon rode his cheesiness to the bank by producing a string of hit movies, shows and marrying up.
I don’t know what happened with Will. He was great as the Fresh Prince and funny as heck as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, but once he revisited his music career and produced songs like “Getting Jiggy Wit It” and “Welcome to Miami,” it was such a buzzkill. Couple that with his overly extra manner in people pleasing on the red carpet and forcing his signature laughs, and it’s easy to see why Smith is vying for the King of Corn award against Diddy.
The whole name dropping thing is not a good look for The Game. As much as he tries to come off hard, his billion references to celebrities who don’t give two tweets about his “I rep Compton” arse just render him lame. Luckily enough, he lives in his own mind so the fact that he garners little respect in the game hasn’t slowed down his production (unfortunately for us).
Okay, so I personally don’t think Drake is a cornball but an overwhelming amount of my co-workers and friends think so, which is why I’m including him on the list. What are the reasons, you ask? Well, Drake does run his mouth too much about all the women he loves. From Malia, to Nicki Minaj,to Rihanna, to Serena, he can’t get enough of waxing poetic about all the strippers and female celebrities he’s drooled over. We get it Drake, you’re the romantic type but relax man. And oh yeah, the Cosby sweaters are also doing him no favors in the swagger department.