Rising From the Ashes of Sex, Lies and HIV Diagnosis

December 1st, 2011 - By MN Editor

"world aids day"

by Sherrie Bain

The World AIDS Day theme this year highlights ‘Getting to Zero’, as the optimistic goal for reducing the number of AIDS-related deaths in the future. Thanks to life-saving anti-retroviral therapy (ART), many more individuals are indeed living with HIV, instead of dying from AIDS.   Yet, there is a growing HIV crisis within the African American community.

Across the board: straight, gay, or just ‘bi-curious’, Black men and woman are becoming infected with HIV at alarming rates. One of the most devastating aspects of this growing HIV crisis is the fact that young, Black women are a large percentage of the primary statistics.  Overall, African American females make up approximately two thirds of all new HIV cases.  A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) showed that HIV diagnoses were 20 times higher for African American adult and adolescent women in comparison to non-Hispanic white females.

Not only are more Black women being diagnosed with HIV, many of them are also dying from AIDS related complications.   AIDS is now the leading cause of death for African American women between the ages of 25yrs – 34yrs.   African American women are 21 times more likely to die from HIV/AIDS than non-Hispanic females.  These statistics reflect the fact that many African American women are becoming infected with HIV when they are still teenagers. It also highlights the fact that getting through to our young women about safe sex is going to be essential if we are to prevent them from becoming future HIV statistics.

One of the young, Black women working to do just that is Teniecka Drake. She represents our sisters, our best friends, and for many, the person staring out from the mirror… the person who was once a young teenage girl, naïve enough to believe the big, bad wolf in disguise. Even grown women sometimes have a hard time admitting when their Prince Charming is really a toad. For younger girls who are about the age Teniecka was when she became infected, it’s often even harder to assert themselves about safe sex, especially when they’re in a relationship with an older man. Teniecka hopes that by continuing to share her story she can help other young women to take the necessary precautions to avoid contracting HIV.   

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  • MissS

    This article is very timely. The rate of HIV/AIDS in the African American community is downright appalling. But everyone who is spreading HIV/AIDS are not big bad wolves. Many people living with HIV/AIDS have absolutely no idea that they have the disease. I say everyone should have that test as a part of their yearly check up…every three months is they are sexually active. As a professor of mines who taught a class on HIV/AIDS and public policy said : “When you’re having unprotected sex with someone, it’s not just sex. What you’re actually sauing is that you trust this person with your life.” I  think if more people think of sex like this, they would shy away from having unprotected sex. There is no reason to NOT use a condom. Condoms are free!!!!!!!! I work at NYC DOHMH and they have loads of FREE condoms available.

  • Number 1

    It is best to remain celibate until you are in a committed relationship with someone you can fully trust. I have never been like the guys who lust after ‘big booty judy” or the self-proclaimed “baddest b–ch”. Those are usually the one carrying something. Then again it is hard to tell who has what, where they got it, and if you will catch it. Get tested! Everybody jumping in and out of bed, and what is suppose to be shared between two people is becoming deadly.

  • phoenix

    the photo attached to this article……WHO IS THAT YOW? i thought it was madea’s daughter

    sad article by the way

  • Truth Hurts

    Bottom line is this, people need to stop having sex and exploring with any and everybody out here. Even with a condom on you are still in fact at risk for catching HIV and STD’s. Before you have sex you need to know who and what type of person your partner is and you certainly don’t learn that overnight. You should respect yourself enough to pick and choose your partners carefully. Your body is the temple of god, be careful where it goes, be careful what is does, be careful what it ponders, be careful how it reacts.

  • Truth Hurts

    Bottom line is this, people need to stop having sex and exploring with any and everybody out here. Even with a condom on you are still in fact at risk for catching HIV and STD’s. Before you have sex you need to know who and what type of person your partner is and you certainly don’t learn that overnight. You should respect yourself enough to pick and choose your partners carefully. Your body is the temple of god, be careful where it goes, be careful what is does, be careful what it ponders, be careful how it reacts.

    • MOMMADEAN

      yESS.. Like a bank that’s giving out loans you need to get some references to find out if the person is loyal when they are in relationships…lol

  • Kaay

    I can really relate to Teniecka’s teenage experience with her boyfriend. As a young girl, I had mixed self-esteem and strong fears of talking about romantic relationships with my ultra-conservative parents. I probably could have benefited from a few educational and reassuring conversations about sexuality and saved myself some of the drama and “scares” I had in some relationships.
    We, Black women can be headstrong about so many priorities in our lives (education, career, family, love). I really hope I see the day when statistics show we are also headstrong about our health, especially when it comes to our sexual relationships. From an early age, rich or poor, girls should recognize the Red Flag in partners who do not see the value in wearing condoms or taking aids/std tests. Any relationship that shows to be compromising to our health (inconsiderate, lying, cheating, etc.) should be a deal breaker, hands up! Fight or Flight!

    • MOMMADEAN

      Yes. There is something wrong when a man refuses to use a condom. And the one thing that kills me is a man/boy/male will complain about using protection but when you tell them you missed your period some of them have a fit. Wellllll …use protection … This is the reason why there are so many single parent households too because guys are not using protection with women they know for a fact that they do not want to be with on a long term basis. These days you should make them use two condoms… Us women have to conduct interviews when dating to make sure the guys aren’t bi-sexual, crack heads, married, criminals, etc… Why not ask them if they’ve ever had a sexual transmitted disease even though they may not be honest about it…get the conversation started.

  • http://twitter.com/TCGalltin T.C. Galltin

    Wow. This article blew me away. And it doesn’t only apply to educating our young women. It’s a disease that is running rampant in our community no matter what age. I wish she would have pressed charges against him. Perhaps, then, they would have locked him up for a while so he wouldn’t continue to knowingly spread it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/shanzlite Shannon L Christian

      It would be beneficial to society that those knowingly passing HIV would be held accountible in the criminal justice system for their willful sociopathy.  Murderers go to jail althought their incarceration will never bring life back to their victim.  The same as if someone purposely takes the QUALITY of another person’s life as well. 
      I applaud this young woman and thank her for her example.  She has proven that she is greater than her circumstances and the stigma.

  • Cupcakes tase Sparkly

    No one should be having unprotected sex, always INSIST on getting tested together BEFORE engaging in any sexual activity and even then CONTINUE to use both Birth Control & Condoms.

    People do cheat & people do lie. If your instincts are screaming at you that the person you are dealing with is dishonest..then SAVE YOUR LIFE and FOLLOW that INSTINCT.

    • IllyPhilly

      Yesssss! That’s why i’m so appalled at how people easily have unprotected sex.

  • Shay

    The statistics about the rapid increase in new HIV cases among young black woman are truly disheartening. But education about unplanned pregnancy, std’s and safe sex aren’t enough to save our young women from being apart of these statistics. That information is of no use if black woman of every age don’t have enough self-respect and self-love to demand that their sexual pertners protect them by engaging in safe sex and condom use. We have got to first, raise our young girls to love themselves enough to protect their body’s and then educate them on the means of doing so.

    • MommaDean

      I was thinking the same thing. More women need to know their worth. They also have to take the responsibility in making the mates use condoms. Some women don’t want to bring up the subject of condoms because some men say that using a condom doesn’t feel as good as going without one. What they need to take into consideration is it doesn’t feel good to worry about whether or not you may have contracted something that could bring on serious health problems.

      And as mothers more women need to educate their daughters about talking openly about being in a relationship with someone who loves you and deserves to lay in your bed instead of someone who just loves the way you booty looks in jeans.