Poor Child: 5 Hood-ish Baby Names That Take Creativity Too Far

November 30th, 2011 - By Renay Alize

Naming your child is an important task that shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is the name people will call your little bundle for the rest of his or her life…Unless it’s so terrible that they have to change it– like in the case of 9 year old New Zealand girl named Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. (Don’t worry the court ordered that she become a ward of the state until she could legally change it.)

Most people, black people included, take the power to determine what a child will be called very seriously. Black people, always known for setting trends, have a legacy of naming their children something unique (if not the word “Unique” itself). There’s history behind the tradition though. In the 1960s, black parents were deciding to do away with the traditional, European names in favor of celebrating African tradition or creating and blending their own new sounds.

So while we know the history behind such “interesting” names, there are still some that just give us pause. Check out this list of names that just do way too much and not enough at the same time.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438551270 Jessica Lucinda Williams

    “LeDasha” (Le-a) mama need her “le-ass ” whooped.

  • http://twitter.com/buddiejames buddiejames

    well, I read page one page and linked to the references, but I refuse to click, click, click, guess I missed the rest of the aarticle

  • ModelType

    What I don’t understand is it seems as though parents these days don’t realize their child is going to grow up one day. Crazy names with crazy spellings, how will that look when little Zhaniah turns 40 or 60 maybe. I think its because the parents are young when they have them and they think that kid is going to stay 4-years-old forever

  • http://www.facebook.com/treysuchasweetheart Trey Suchasweetheart Andrews

    The La-Dash-a one is an urban legend

  • k.s.d

    I have a Tyquandreannia and a Jaur’niyah in my class!

  • kaymee

    Barackeisha made my day! LMAO

  • LeWilde1

    Anecdote from friend who works in social security office on Chicago’s West side. A young mother is bringing her infant in to get a number. My friend is looking at the birth certificate, trying to come up with the most inoffensive pronunciation, and just punts: “Vagina [insert last name]!” The mother says, “NO! It’s Va-gin-AY!”

    And I finally met the woman who said she named her daughter “Porsche” and couldn’t wait til she could afford to buy one.

    The book Freakonomics has a good chapter on black names, too.

  • WTFDoTheyBeThinking?!?

    I work at a Pediatrics office…..when I saw the name “Boo’Qualan”….I was done! We also have a “Dasani” (like the water) and a “DaMahzie” pronounced Dah-mah-zee-ayy….JUST HOOD!

  • tearcollector

    People, just STOP with these stupid, made up, hood names!! You will make sure your kid gets laughed at and denied for a job. Those names aren’t African, nor are they appealing.

  • Nicole N.

    I’shakeba, Ta’keshianna, Comfort, Pleasure, Paradise, Lacole, Shakanna, Latasja, Marvette, Rauseeaa, Tuesday-Storm. Sad…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/shanifiu Shani Bernard

    I love created names even weird ones. I don’t wast my son in a class with 10 more kids named Alex……. we have to start evolving names some time. now is the dark age lol

  • Babyjo

    I’m a substitute teacher and jeezus the names I come across. Sad to report that I have met TWO A-a’s (pronounced Adasha. wish I was making it up) and a friend had two twin boys in her class names Lemonjello and Orangejello (emphasis on the second syllable, and soft on the last syllabe, so “Or-ON-jullo” and “Luh-MON-jullo”)

    • Babyjo

      I swear I’m just waiting on little asterisk (spelled * ) to come walking through the door

  • Maldrie

    This is so late but parents need to name their child something that will set them up for success not to be held back all their lives over a name. Give them something reasonable like Jonathan David, Mary Elizabeth, Shannon, Cheyanne or something like that! Not names like Promise Char’Nice or Mercedes Benz or anything like that!

  • Guest2

    I met a guy out about 10 years ago, and his name was Phiance (Fiance). I thought he was kidding but he wasn’t and he said his dad name was Phil, but his mom was very young when she had him, so she wanted to give him part of his dad’s name, and she also felt (being very young) that she would never get married with a child so this was the only way she would get a fiance. I think he is about one of the only guys that I remember hitting on me and I never talked to after, but it was just too funny, and I found out he wasn’t lying.

  • CarlaKah

    L’JahFarao (El Jah Farao). Darealyst Clark (son of Clark). Dusheinah (Do Shine Ah). Dejenirah (mix of dennis (dad) jennifer (mom) and nira (grandma). Phassyon (Fashion). Biscuit (cookie in french).

  • http://twitter.com/NajeemaIman Najeema McMahan

    My cousin dated a “Devious” yes that was the name on his driver’s license…and his name spoke volumes about him,….

  • blanche

    I worked in a hospital. Here are some names I ran into there and in the local community . I’ll leave you to guess the last name of this first one. La Diamond Brace ____ , Formica Dinette ( first and middle name), Washonda Foote (first and last name) Indiana Missouri (first and middle name of an ancient lady,) and Nitrogen O’Hara (first and last name of an elderly lady who has been dead for some time). I bet I could date her birth to the time that nitrogen was placed on the Periodic Table. Oh and for the moms: Braxton Hicks (first and last name)
    I consider these names to have true creativity. The last two ladies were born sometime before the beginning of the 1900s.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Que-Stevenson/1204180733 Que Stevenson

    How bout my name is “LaQueita (la-qwee-ta) TaWand”. Yes, the Q  &
    the W have to be capital. I got in trouble in kindergarten because the
    teacher kept spellling my name “Laqueita”, and I kept telling her she
    was spelling my name wrong. My dad was called to the school, and laughed
    when he found out why I was throwing a fit. He had taught me early on
    to make sure the Q was always capital. My 10th grade geometry teacher
    couldn’t pronounce or spell my name and nicknamed me, “Que”. That has stuck
    with me from then on. What’s really funny, I hook up with Tyrone! 
    LaQueita & Tyrone have children. Have to give them easier names… Mya Aliyah Nicole
    (two middle names, I know Ghetto) & Isaiah Tariq.

  • truth

    Reading this article  just shows how more  stupid and ignorant black people are great with every passing day

  • Smjdel

    I work in Labor & Delivery, and I’ve seen a number of mothers name their girl babies Nevaeh (Heaven backwards) and one who named her daughter Nevaeh tnes legna (Heaven sent angel). One mother who was having a boy said this was going to be her last child, so she named him “Finale”. The hardest part is saying “Oh, what a cute name!” when you really just want to say “What are you smoking?” :-)

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