Poor Child: 5 Hood-ish Baby Names That Take Creativity Too Far

November 30th, 2011 - By Renay Alize

Naming your child is an important task that shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is the name people will call your little bundle for the rest of his or her life…Unless it’s so terrible that they have to change it– like in the case of 9 year old New Zealand girl named Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. (Don’t worry the court ordered that she become a ward of the state until she could legally change it.)

Most people, black people included, take the power to determine what a child will be called very seriously. Black people, always known for setting trends, have a legacy of naming their children something unique (if not the word “Unique” itself). There’s history behind the tradition though. In the 1960s, black parents were deciding to do away with the traditional, European names in favor of celebrating African tradition or creating and blending their own new sounds.

So while we know the history behind such “interesting” names, there are still some that just give us pause. Check out this list of names that just do way too much and not enough at the same time.

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  • guest

    I had a sweet little boy in my preschool class who was named Vermin.  As a hispanic, I had heard the name Fermin but to me vermin means rats.  His mother looked like an educated woman so I’m not sure where that name came from.

    • Swanhilde

      Sounds like that lady had some latent issues regarding the birth of her son.

  • Swanhilde

    I had a northern European name until my 26th year. Unfortunately I was born several years after Queen Elizabeth II was crowned so not only did I have her name many women around my age had her name. I was working in an office where there were several of us and one time the supervisor called out our name and three of them including myself turned around to answer – it was at that point that I decided to change my name – the entire thing, including my surname. My family is not close so I didn’t really care what they thought about my changing my surname. I spent  the better part of six months going through baby books and different mythologies was an interest of mine so I looked at those names as well. I settled on three names that flowed well, from Greek mythology. I get quite a few compliments on my name still after almost thirty years and most people (unless they have some grasp of mythology) don’t know what the origins of my name are.
    I understand what my mother was trying to do in naming me Elizabeth. She figured that in naming me that, perhaps I would have a better chance. Unfortunately, it was an illusion. If someone does not want to hire you because of race, it does not matter what your name is.
    Unfortunately people think we are stupid because apparently, some of us are. It is not necessary to name your child something ignorant because you are too lazy to go through a baby book or too ignorant to look at using names that are both beautiful and unique but have long since fallen out of use. Unusual and beautiful names can be found in all mythologies, from African to Greek and in between-do some damn research.
    People will continue to think we are ignorant if we continue to give them ammunition.
    Stop giving them ammunition.

  • Margeaux

    I WISH i was lying on these names, but this woman (white) named her biracial children Ovious
    ( obvious) Nvious (envious) and Nautica, everytime she mentnions her kids names, i cringe. As if that wasn’t enough, I went to school with a chick named Xtacy Passion. I couldn’t make this stuff up if i wanted to.

  • detroit survivor

    i really dont give a rat about a persons name   honestly i will just puke if i hear the name jennifer, heather, ashley aiden, kayle, kylie, katie, kaya        not a hater really,   i told my girls who are both newly married dont make me have to call my kid  any of these names        but as far as creative black names,   its not a real problem    but i resent a name that is so jacked up with apostrophes, upper and lower caseletters, and a name so far out there that when i have to spell the name i have to be taken to task and get the eye rolling and sigh because the person has to walk me through some outrageous “special” name      like im the idoit

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ash-Iman/663018948 Ash Iman

      Well, go ahead an puke because my name is Ashley and I am so proud of it.

  • Guest

    Adream Cometrue Jackson…the name on the graduation program at my son’s school.

  • Titania

    My ex’s mom worked at a preschool, and one of the kids was named Sha’hogany. Like mahogany. D-:

  • Rivervalleycoupons

    Umm seriously we are told this by someone named Renay Alize?! Isn’t Alize a drink? Someone please correct me if I’m wrong…My daughter’s name has an ‘ in it and we are so far from being ghetto…

  • guest

    all of these have been proven to be hoaxes. stop perpetuating stereotypes.  snopes dot com folks!

    • BriL

      Actually, my cousin’s friend (who works at a preschool) really DOES know someone named Oranjello. And he had a twin brother named Lemonjello. No lie.

  • http://www.facebook.com/stepfamilyguru Stepfamily CommunicationCoach

    I have heard many interesting names, but  Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii takes the cake.

  • http://www.facebook.com/stepfamilyguru Stepfamily CommunicationCoach

    I have heard some interesting names, but I think  Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii takes the cake.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=520671728 Courtney Hudson

    Couple of names from some kids who went to a school in South Georgia… Lorider (like Low Rider), and Shateed (spelled Sh!thead) Lovely.

  • Diamondlove93

    Tatalalish and corchona {cor che an na}

  • Calvin1

    from elementary school.  Tracozlyn.

  • DawnAnonymous

    The worst name I ever heard was a girl named her daughter “Placenta” because it sounded pretty. The least a person could do is look up the name before bestowing it on their next generation…

  • me

    imaginonda…i-maj-in-non-dah

  • Anonymous

    My school looked something like this…
    Aramaxima
    Zarethan 
    Nickawana
    Nelkika
    Alvalatonya
    Jeranykolya  (Not sure if that’s spelled right, but that’s how it’s pronounced)

    ….small town obviously….

    • crazyface

      oh…and Chenderquita

  • Christie

    Starrqweetah is my favorite :D

  • brendawhite

    Blackwhite’Planet.COMIt’s a person’als place where to- connect with beautiful and
    excellent people! a nice best place for bla-ck whit-e sin-gles, to interact
    with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love. . …@love it ★★★★★★ ;)
     

  • http://twitter.com/iamnotablogger Rissa

    My sister’s friend is a teacher and has a child in her class named “Abcdef”.
    I was on the phone and she was telling me this and then spelled it for me. I almost hung up on her.

    On some of these though: like “La-a”, I need to see the receipts because I hear the stories of them for YEARS and people always claim it’s someone they know.

  • laffoutloud

    Jeffrey Dahmer and last name. The parents said that with every negative a positive must balance it out. Uggh.

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