On a deep level—it’s subconscious for some and very much conscious for others—we know what makes us happy. It’s human relationships. That’s why, after achieving a career or monetary goal you’ve dreamed of for years, you can feel sad if you have nobody to share it with. It’s also why many of the world’s happiest countries aren’t the super powers. They aren’t the wealthiest or the most advanced. They’re the ones that are family-oriented. They’re the countries where people feel connected. And yet, I see people who repeatedly put work first, constantly making their romantic partner or family feel like a second or third priority, and these people aren’t happy. And they’ll tell you they don’t know why. So they’ll just try to get more money, they’ll try to become more famous, or they’ll try to climb the power ranks of their industry further. They’re truly barking up the wrong tree. And I’m afraid our society encourages it. Here are ways as a woman I feel judged for being less career-oriented and more family-oriented.
When I chose free time over money
A long time ago, I was offered a very high-paying position. It would require me to basically work 12 to 15 hour days, and be available to work weekends, too. But my salary would have doubled. I didn’t take it because I would rather have work-life balance than tons of money. And everyone in my life (besides my partner) chastised me for it. My family and friends and coworkers thought I’d made a huge mistake. I still don’t. I get to have dinner with my partner at night and go hiking on the weekends, and I still have food on the table and a roof over my head.