10 More Things You Should Never Have to Apologize For

December 5th, 2011 - By Toya Sharee

"black woman"

You may have caught Rashana A. Hooks brutally honest article, Things You Should Never Apologize For.  Still, I suspect that many of you still have your bags packed and ready to go for your daily guilt trip and are undeservingly beating yourselves up for all the things that make you fierce and fabulous.  Apologies are used for the recognition and remorse of a wrongdoing, but more often than not, you’re only living your life the best way you know how, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Here are 10 more things that you can save your apologies for:

"Black Woman Reading"

1.  Being educated/Conscious of grammar.

I’ve noticed how easily offended people become when I correct them on a fact that they’ve quoted incorrectly or point out that they’ve used the wrong “you’re” in a Facebook status update.  Instantly, I’m attacked with loaded gratitude like, “Thank you, grammar police.”  In my opinion, friends don’t let friends stay confident in ignorance.  You can be helpful without being insulting.  While there’s certainly a time and place to be more laid back and relaxed with your language, you’ll be thanking me and my thesaurus before you print out a thousand business cards labeled, “Thank you for you’re business.” (Microsoft Word weeps.)

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  • morvern

    All of these are very true and good points.  But #10, despite being somewhat true (to a point), can also be a double edged sword.  Personally, I definitely do judge someone by the company that they keep.  I hold myself and my own friends to this standard as well.  You might not be a bird but if you can stomach hanging out with someone who is worthless/trashy/deceptive/vapid/etc., it says a lot about you.   

  • Happy to be here

    No.1: Really? Today is the first time I read your column and was struck by the number of grammatical errors. I wondered if you had an editor. For example, in your previous “10 Things. . .” , you wrote, “. . . being born into the family your in.” Shouldn’t that be, “. . .family you are in”? as opposed to “your”? 

    I agree, bad grammar is a total turn off!

  • Steve Glen

    I agree with all of these…except for being tired.  This is often an excuse for getting out of things that are uncomfortable.  Other times, being tired is caused by improper nutrition, lack of exercise, crashing after sugar/caffeine high, or being bored because you’re doing something that doesn’t interest you.

  • Johnny Dred

    Seriously, you concider in this article all the aspects of a human being behavior, consequently all the actions should never been apologize… This article is gross :D !

  • http://www.facebook.com/ChristinaIaintgotnomoney4uhoneyCampbell ChristinaItsruff Beingadiamond

    #8 says it all for me I am easy to offend people who can’t quite grasp where I be coming from but real adults will ask me to break it down in laymen terms!

  • Allinyamouth

    The dumbest article this site has posted in a long time.  Straight trash…you dont have to apologize for it…just take this as feedback.

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  • No Disrespect

    You might not need to apologize for the actions of your friends, but you do need to be conscious of their actions and what that says about you. You are the company you keep. Whether you like it or not, that’s just the way it is. If you hang with girls who have a bad reputation, people are, naturally, going to assume that you share the same traits until they get to know you and realize otherwise. First impressions are formed upon sight so that assumption might be difficult to dispel.

    • gloria kerry

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    • Guest

       ”You are the company you keep. Whether you like it or not, that’s just
      the way it is. If you hang with girls who have a bad reputation, people
      are, naturally, going to assume that you share the same traits until
      they get to know you and realize otherwise.”

      This is true. However, I don’t care for shallow, immature, gossipy drama queens and that’s exactly what someone is if they assume facts about your life. I’d rather stay friends with my girls (whether they are considered “sl@tty” or not) than cater to someone who judges people they don’t know.

  • LotusLeader

    All ten work for me.  Women in other communities do nothing but apologize for being awake.  This is stupid.  Everyone has a human right to be and do whatsoever, as long as they do not cause harm. 

  • Mocha_687

    I love my friends enough to tell them to put down the dereon when we go shopping. lol

  • MIss K

    I am the grammar police and proud of it. “Friends don’t let friends stay confident in ignorance.” Now, that’s the truth!

    • MIss K

      p.s. That Deréon comment was hilarious.  Unfortunately, I think of the label as a reincarnated Baby Phat. 

  • Sugar_Spice

    Number 2 is most definitely me!  All of my friends come to me with their problems but then get mad when I tell them the truth.  I’m not about to sugar coat anything for anybody.  We are all grown & if they want a yes woman they need to keep it moving.

    • Lis

      jus like me!!

  • IllyPhilly

    Number 6 is me. i need to change my friends because I seem to be the only one who can sustain a stable relationship. Even when we depart there’s no animosity. (we usually part because I REALLY like my personal space) I’m always the Chante Moore, y’all remember that song!

  • prettyLady

    Ugh!! number 10 speaks to me. I had a school mate who was just the sweetest thing. She was always nice to me so I never had a reason to be mean to her. Still she had bad reputation and at the time I wasn’t allowed to or interested in wearing tight skirts or appealing to boys…I loved lip gloss but I wanted to play handball too (a feminine tomboy)…my sporty good girl reputation shielded me from such ridicule.
    She found herself in a fight with more than 5 girls (so unfair) who thought she was a blankety blank blank….either way at the end of it I forced my best friend to help me walk her home to safety AND THAT’S WHEN  I found out the problem…she lived in a abandoned dark looking crack house. Poor child had no guidance and came to school a mess because there was no one to tell her not to. We were 13 years old. I suspect her mother pimped her for cash