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Let’s be honest, turning someone down can be very awkward. It’s totally. uncomfortable to tell someone why you aren’t a good match or why you are incompatible. But because we all have been rejected, we have to have some empathy and compassion when we are the ones doing the rejecting.
Dr. Gary Brown, a couple’s therapist in Los Angeles, told Elite Daily that ghosting someone (ending all communications with someone without prior explanation) is one of the most heartless ways to end a connection.
“Ghosting someone is especially painful because the person being rejected may simply not ever know why you abandoned them,” Dr. Brown said. “It leaves them with not only not knowing why, but potentially misinterpreting the reasons.”
Another cruel way to reject someone–blasting it on social media.
“This is one of the very worst ways to reject someone,” Brown explained to the outlet. “Not only will they feel the pain of rejection, but doing so in public now adds the pain of public humiliation. This ranks with one of the cruelest ways to reject someone.”
But using technology to do your dirty work can also be considered a tad callous.
“Rejecting someone in a text, IG post, or any other form of social media is also painful,” Dr. Brown said. “If you are going to reject someone, hack your courage, step up, and do it in person.”
To let someone down kindly, approach it how you would like to be approached. Meet them face-to-face, cushion it with some compliments, and be straight forward.
“The best ways are to deliver the news are privately and in person,” Dr. Brown advised. “Tell the person what you like about them first. Then let them know, without judging them, why you need to end the relationship.”
