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My entire life, I had this complex about not being codependent. It may have stemmed from the fact that my mom moved here from Europe to marry my dad, knowing absolutely nobody here besides my dad, and then fulfilling his wishes that she not get a job so she’d be home waiting for him/available to have fun whenever he wanted, making it even more impossible for her to meet anyone. Even though she eventually, slowly made her group of friends, I noticed that many of them were also in similar marriages—really only sneaking off to socialize when their partners didn’t demand their attention. I never wanted to be in such a needy relationship like that, and perhaps due to my fear of it, I over-corrected in some of my earlier relationships. I made such a point to be independent that, I didn’t leave my relationships a fighting chance to go anywhere. So, while codependency is bad, are you too independent in your relationships?
You never cross-check calendars
If someone asks you to do something on a night you know you’re free, and you want to do it, you just say yes. That’s mostly how it should be but you and your partner never cross-reference your calendars, just to make sure that you do reserve some time for each other. Scheduling in a relationship isn’t easy but, you both just fill up your respective calendars and leave it to chance that there’s time for each other in the end. But you don’t make it a priority.
