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The ladies of Basketball Wives love a good, sturdy table. They love to meet for confrontational lunches across them, they like to jump over them when they’re upset, and in Malaysia Pargo‘s case, when upset, they like to throw them.

No one who watched Season 7 of Basketball Wives can likely forget the trip to Amsterdam and the quarrel between Jennifer Williams and Malaysia that ended in the latter launching a small table and having to be separated by most of her cast mates. However, Malaysia admits in a VH1 clip for Season 8 that she doesn’t recall much from that day because she was so irate.

“Last year when I threw the table at Jennifer, what was going through my head? Nothing,” she said. “You see, when I get mad sometimes, I go black…and I want to see red.”

In the moment, Jennifer seemed more confused than worried, and claims she “was mortified” by the situation. However, she said she was just trying to figure out how to be prepared if Malaysia actually got to her.

“I was very calm because I was trying to think of how I was going to throw this big b—h over this bridge,” she said in the same cast promo clip. “I mean, I’m not a fighter, but at the same time, I’m not going to let someone just do something crazy to me and I don’t do anything. I’m never going to throw the first punch, or we should say table, but I know how to retaliate. If it would have hit me then it would have been some issues.”

As for Pargo, she is a fighter when she deems it necessary.

“It was just me and Jennifer at this moment and everyone went somewhere else in my head. So, at that point I just seen a target and Jennifer was it,” she said. “I remember bits and pieces and I do remember Kristen hugging me and making me count back and saying, ‘This is your cousin, this is your cousin, come back to me.’ In that moment, I was so grateful that I had family there that actually know me and know how to calm me down in situations like that, so I was super grateful to Kristen and OG.”

Looking back, it’s not behavior she’s proud of, and would love for the incident to be filed away and never discussed again.

“Watching it on TV, I can see where there’s room for change, and growth. Being there in the moment, there was no room for change. There was room for solutions and making sh-t happen,” she said. “We all know that that’s probably one of the most iconic situations on the show, but, I would rather you guys put it away and throw it in the boat [laughs].”

Back in September, soon after the episode aired, Malaysia showed a vulnerable side on social media and apologized for her antics abroad.

“I’m not happy with my behavior on tonights [sic] episode. I am a loyal friend that leads with my heart, and unfortunately sometimes some take my kindness for weakness. I felt used and betrayed, but that doesn’t excuse my action,” she wrote in a note on Twitter. “I let my emotions get the best of me for that I am disappointed in myself for allowing someone to take me to a negative place. I apologize if I let you guys down. I am using this as a learning lesson. Thank you for all your love and continued support.”

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