Your man still wines and dines you. He loves that you’re health-conscious and your best self. He even supported your career – before you quit. Very soon, you’ll be married. Or else. Until then, you give him your all. Your daughter and parents can’t wait. Five years later, you’re still here and unmarried. You’re good woman. You’d make a great wife. Maybe give him a kid after all. What’s wrong?
It’s You. Often, the most beautiful and intelligent women miss the aisle because they lack financial “fine-ness”. Often, the commitment you seek is farther than the road you’re blocking from his financial freedom.
Here’s Six Reasons You May Not Get The Ring
1. You Won’t Compliment Our Wealth
Times are challenging. We want adaptable women. A cheerleader at our highs and counselor (mainly sex) in our lows. Will you be ready and unconditionally supportive for our power moves and misses? In rough times, find out if we need you financially. Extra income trumps morning workouts and Oprah. Asking alone shows you’d be a great partner.
2. You May Be A Liability
Many of us see wives as an obligation that MUST be worth it. Offer qualities we refuse to live without – great sex, ridiculous beauty or whatever our “currency” is. Possess something we’re willing to trade our “freedom” for. We decide how much effort we’ll expend to keep you very early. The more you offer, the better your chances. We’ll fold on an average hand. No excessive debt, litter of children or new responsibilities we don’t want. Sending “his money” to mom may make you a burden not an asset.
3. You Don’t Make Financially Sound Decisions
Before marriage; we weigh the “costs” of sharing financial decisions. Similar financial outlooks are preferred. If we’re financially carefree – be thrifty. If we’re thrifty – be thriftier. Mirror us financially to see the “papers” you desire. We assume you’ll treat our money like yours. Quitting your jobs abruptly may be fine. Quitting without a backup plan is unacceptable.
4. We Make Unsound Financial Decisions With You
We make calculated decisions about you to get what we want. The more we like you; the worse our decision-making. For protection, we instantly classify women into categories. You’ve been analyzed; so anything we give beyond “your worth” seems like a loss. Excess in dating compromises our financial stability. You don’t have to pay; BUT PAY ATTENTION. Suggest alternatives to fine-dining if you suspect our ambivalence. We’ll appreciate your sacrifice and work harder to please you.
5. You Make Us Feel Financially Weak
Men compete with each other from birth. In order to survive and be successful, our self-confidence must always remain in tact. We can’t be compromised AND successful. Broken men, allowed themselves to become LESS than what they originally envisioned. Most men won’t care if you make the same pay or more. We’ll push you away if you make us feel smaller than our vision of ourselves. We must be the head of house in one way or another. We’ll never be thrilled with making less than you. Succeed; but never flaunt your financial prowess. It’s not “good money” if deteriorates our self image.
6. You Treat Us Like Currency
A woman “who can find somebody else” is open to someone better than us. Once again, we’re competing. Thoughts of you with the competition make us feel disposable, like money. Bottom line – there are more women than men. Unless you’re irresistible; we’ll call your bluff. We too, “can find somebody else”. Women who appreciate us; appreciate in value.
Here are some tips to promote positive financial growth in relationships:
1. Share Your Financial Decisions to Create an Open Financial Environment.
2. Find Ways to Build His Wealth Too.
3. Assess and Align Your Financial Decision-Making Styles.
4. Be Receptive and Adapt To His Financial Peaks and Valleys.
5. Make Him “The King” of Something Else If He Can’t Cut it Financially.
6. Appreciate What He Brings to the Table and Truly Value It.
Jemal Webb is a leading Independent Financial Asset Manager in Atlanta, building a community based on Abundance, Protection and Education.