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HOLLYWOOD, CA – NOVEMBER 18: Roxane Gay attends the Feminist AF Panel at Vulture Festival Los Angeles at Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on November 18, 2017 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/FilmMagic)

Honesty is all Roxane Gay knows, whether she’s talking about her body as she did with the memoir Hunger, or telling men and women alike how they can be better feminists. And the same is true when it comes to the author’s musings on love, that thing so many of us crave yet few know how to give, receive, or hold out hope for.

One of the most basic requirements of getting and giving love is being honest, with ourselves and with our partners. With that in mind, we combed through Gay’s plethora of quotables to find these 10 honest truths she tells about love that will hopefully spark a little introspection when it comes to your quest and, most importantly, help you love better and seek love in its truest form.

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