Ridiculous Myths About Feminists
I won’t pretend that there haven’t been some radical feminists over the years, but, like with any group, the world at large can often assume that everyone in a group is exactly like the most radical members. We aren’t all like the females on the remote island in the movie “The Wicker Man” who lure an unsuspecting gentleman to our community to sacrifice him to some obscure gods. Feminism, at its core, is just about women being treated as equals to men. Just because “Fem” is in the name, doesn’t mean we strive for some world in which men don’t exist and we just procreate using the frozen sperm of the hoards of males we killed off (but what a concept for a Sci-Fi thriller, am I right?) We need to dispel some of the myths around this group, so our voices can be heard. Here are ridiculous myths about feminists.
We hate men
We don’t hate men. We, as a group, don’t harbor any hate towards anybody. We just seek to stop the hate and oppression women have felt for a long time. Most feminists I know have plenty of men in their lives whom they respect and adore. We don’t see all men as part of the problem. In fact, people of both genders have been a part of the problem for centuries. Even women have oppressed women.
We put down our partners
We don’t berate our boyfriends and husbands. We chose them because they treat us with respect and kindness and, as such, we treat them the same way. If you know a woman who is mean to her partner, that’s not her feminism speaking—that’s just her particular personality.
We try to get men fired
We do not seek to get men fired from their jobs. If a man is doing a good job (and especially if he works to provide equal opportunities for women) and we believe that he is the best person for that job, we won’t try to dethrone him. We just seek to make sure that women who are qualified are also considered for every job.
We prevent men from opportunities
And we don’t go around, coming up with schemes and conspiracies to prevent men from having opportunities. We don’t spread lies or set traps to make a man look bad and be held back in his career. We do, however, bring to light the true, terrible things some men do and have done so bad people don’t end up in power. But it’s their fault that they did those things—not that we are bringing them up.
We’re all lesbians
Feminism and sexuality have no link. In fact, I’ve known gay women who weren’t as passionate about the feminist agenda as straight women I know. We choose to be feminists; we cannot choose our sexuality. And no—feminists don’t all wish they were gay out of spite for men.
We want to rule the world
We don’t think that any one gender should rule the world. It just so happens that, for a long time, men have absolutely ruled the world. And we don’t think that’s fair. We know that women have some pretty amazing attributes to bring to powerful positions, and we want to make sure they’re represented. But, no: we don’t think women should fill every powerful position in the world. We believe in the balance that comes when men and women work together.
We want to be superior
Nope. We just want equality. Fighting to no longer be oppressed and wanting to oppress another group is not the same thing. Not at all. And we don’t seek to oppress anyone.
We look for problems
We’re just constantly looking for signs and proof of misogyny everywhere we turn, right? No. We may point these out often, but we certainly didn’t have to look hard for them at all. They’re just…there.
We have no sense of humor
Of course we have a sense of humor about ourselves! We understand that sometimes we’re funny and we burn bras and write some pretty radical signs to march in the street with. We see the humor in it—don’t worry. But we also see the value in it.
We aren’t unreasonable. Again, if you know a feminist who is unreasonable, that isn’t her feminism—that’s her specific personality. We want equality, after all, and we know we won’t get it by behaving eccentric and irrational.
We hold secret meetings
To take over the world, right? Well, unfortunately, we kind of need the help of the group that’s currently in charge of the world (men) in order to gain some leverage so, we actually like to include men in our discussions.
We are united
Not all feminists agree on all things. We want equality for women but, we don’t always agree on how that equality should be achieved. We don’t even always agree on what equality means.
We’re all women
Men can be feminists, too! Sometimes, the need for the term “feminist” seems silly because, we should all just innately be feminists. Being feminists just means wanting men and women to be treated equally, and that desire should be natural among all humans. To be human should mean to be feminist so, no, we aren’t all women.
We think men should stay home with the kids
We would like the choice to have a career and families—we’d like not to be judged if we don’t stay home with our kids. But that doesn’t mean that some of us don’t want to be stay at home moms. It certainly doesn’t mean we believe men should have to be stay at home dads. We think it should be a discussion.
We don’t want to be wives
We don’t all hate the institution of marriage. Sure, it has some shady, misogynistic origins. But we’ve re-written what marriage means to us, and if we find a partner we’d like to spend our lives with, some of us like the idea of being wives.