Erica Campbell: Calling Yourself A Boss Can Ruin Relationships
Now that Erica and her producer husband Warryn Campbell are coming back to television with their own reality show, the gospel singer might find herself answering a lot of questions as it concerns relationships and marriage.
During a recent sit down with Cherise Nicole for TheGrio, Campbell spoke about proper order in a marriage and the variety of ways in which women emasculate men, even down to the language we use, like calling ourselves bosses.
Does calling yourself a boss ruin relationships?
“It depends on how boss is defined. I believe in God’s order. I believe the man is the head of the household. He leads, I follow but we do it together. It just speaks volumes when you come into a relationship and you tell a guy, I’m a boss. So then where does he fit? If you’re a boss, that means I’m in control, my way, my rules. So then what am I here for, really? I like to say we’re a team.”
“I don’t think that elevating my husband minimizes me in any way because it’s impossible to minimize me. I’m too much to be minimized. And I’m sure of that but I don’t have to verbalize that in every moment of my life in order for it to be real. Sometimes the things that we’re saying, is cuz we’re trying to convince ourselves of something. I lot of times we do a lot of campaigning about who we are. ‘I’m rich. I got everything.’ I don’t say that. I don’t have to. I have the stuff. Most wealthy people don’t come in yelling that they’re wealthy. Smart people don’t come in saying that they’re smart. The ones who really don’t believe it, they’re on a campaign to convince themselves and others around them, they’re quite loud about who they are and what they have, which really shows a lot of insecurity.”
The subtle ways we emasculate men
Mamas do it all the time. ‘My kids, my kids and my kids.’ They never say ‘our kids.’ Well he’s here but I…’ We emasculate men in so many ways on so many levels. I just think it’s very damaging for relationships calling yourself a boss. It doesn’t have to be but it can be, depending on where the source of that title is coming from for you.
Joint accounts versus separate accounts as a married couple
My husband told me, ‘I’ll take care of everything. Your money can take care of you.’ But then we got on the same page even financially. Our money together is much more powerful. We can conquer more. We can teach our kids more. We can teach them economics and finances.
I made the mistake of going into a ‘your account’ and ‘my account.’ That means I don’t trust you first of all. Cuz you get married and you go, ‘Well he may not…’ and ‘He may not…’That means you don’t trust him.
That means you’re not together in your money and your money can’t grow together.”
An interesting perspective, no doubt. When I hear women speak of themselves as bosses, it’s generally in the aspect of work and career, perhaps even entrepreneurship. I can’t recall a time I’ve heard women call themselves bosses in the context of a relationship. Not to say it hasn’t happened. But she told the truth and the whole truth in the context of people campaigning for who they want you to believe they are.
As far as the joint account situation… she lost me with that one. I’m all for having a joint account but I’m going to always need my own, simply because I don’t want to have to give an account on the way I choose to spend my money, the same way I don’t want to have to watch my husband like a hawk with every purchase he makes.
I’m sure Erica is not the only one outchea with these types of thoughts. What do you make of her comments? You can watch the full interview in the video below.