Stop Accepting What You Want To Decline: Why If It’s Not A “Hell Yes!” It Needs To Be A “Hell No”

March 22, 2018  |  

saying no

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How many times have we received an uncomfortable request from someone, but automatically felt the pressure to say yes? We agree to do it against our better judgment because we don’t want to disappoint. Whether it’s a favor you can’t quite do at the moment, or a request that takes time, energy or even money away from you, you’re asked to do something and instantly feel guilt pushing you to say yes. But what happens when you say no? For many, right away you feel the urge to explain yourself. But the truth of the matter is, it’s not necessary. We need to embrace “No.” No is a complete sentence and no further explanation is required.

What people fail to understand is, saying no is simply making a conscious decision to not engage in something you truly don’t want to, and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it’s needed in order not to bite off more than you can chew. When we make the decision to say no, we are choosing what’s best for us, and we should never apologize for that. By apologizing or making excuses for a decision that is best for you, it implies that putting yourself first is not as important as protecting the feelings of others, and that’s complete nonsense.

For so long, many of us have been made to believe that constantly saying no says something negative about you. You must be stubborn or selfish. Because of that, we find ourselves overburdened because we are constantly putting the opinions of others before our needs. But not everything is for us, and we owe it ourselves to decipher what is and what isn’t, in every aspect of our life.

No, you can’t make it to that baby shower. No, you did the right think by skipping happy hour to study. No, you will not be able to take that job offer. No, you should stay in if you’re not feeling up to it. It is completely ok to say no to the things not meant for us, without explanation.

Saying no to these things opens doors for all the other things we can, and should accept. Like positivity. It removes toxicity from our lives and builds a greater sense of self-confidence when we learn to listen to our inner voice. In fact, Psychology Today said that learning to say no is the healthier option when it comes to decision making and our stress levels. According to author and stress management expert Paul Huljich, “saying no is one of the most important ingredients in a life filled with peace of mind and contentment.” He encourages us to listen to that inner voice, and emphasizes that we know ourselves better than anyone else, therefore we know what is best for us.

It’s important that we are making the necessary decisions that make sense to us, and only us. We don’t have to agree to everything, and accepting every request asked of us isn’t mandatory. If the answer is no, let it be no, and say just that, with pride and confidence. Be sure to help people when you can, but also know that excuses and reasoning are not necessary in your decision making when you can’t. We should never feel guilty for doing what is best for us.

There is power in the word no. Use it wisely.

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