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The question on the table during Fox’s two-hour special, O.J. Simpson: The Lost Confession, last night was, Did O.J. confess? And if you made it through just 60 minutes of the show which was based on a never-before-seen 2006 interview between O.J. and Judith Regan, who at the time was set to publish the former NFL pro’s “hypothetical” book, If I Did It, you know that answer, unequivocally, is yes.

The special, hosted by Soledad O’brien, rehashed O.J. and his ex-wife Nicole Brown’s relationship from the day they met until the infamous 1995 trial for the murders of Nicole and Ron Goldman, and it didn’t take long to catch on to O.J’s motive for sitting down with Judith. Aside from the fact that he was slated to make $3.5 million on his confessional book which was cancelled by News Corporation (along with this interview), O.J., from the very beginning of the conversation, began painting a very questionable picture of Nicole and an attempted sympathetic image of himself.

When asked about the numerous incidents of domestic violence police officers responded to over the course of their relationship, O.J. claimed to make no excuses for his behavior while simultaneously describing Nicole’s volatile, temperamental nature as the impetus for every altercation — and implying she’d say the same, if she could. In discussing his relationship with Nicole post-separation — after he described her as a mother who was “too attentive if you can be too attentive” — he accused her of hosting sex parties at her home and putting their kids in danger. All of this to assure his public he was doing what any concerned father would do without acknowledging police intervention doesn’t normally accompany most dads’ parental supervision.

Even his childlike “It just happened” explanation for a baseball bat damaging Nicole’s car early in their marriage, which he was quick to point out was really his car because he bought it, sets up a pattern of absolution of all wrongdoing when it comes to his deceased ex-wife. Stating that the rumors Nicole heard of him having affairs where “unfortunately” true is the closest we got to O.J. expressing any remorse throughout the interview and even that was glossed over as a minute detail.

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But it’s the six uninterrupted minutes in which O.J. describes, “hypothetically,” how he killed Nicole and Ron that are most disturbing. And most telling — not regarding who committed the murders, because most of us likely decided O.J. did it back in ’94, or at least after watching The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story in 2016 — but about the controlling, narcissistic personality of this former American great.

As IndieWire describes this portion of the special, “Simpson appears to sometimes let his guard down and discuss what happened in the first person — until he catches himself and reverts back to a third person ‘hypothetical’ account.” And there’s an established smugness in his doing of such, matched only by the uneasy laughter that follows every other statement of his regarding the murders. A haughtiness in knowing even if he were to come out and say, “I did it,” among all the other chilling details he offers which serve the same purpose, he would face no criminal consequence thanks to the clause of double jeopardy. A reclaiming of control over his life which, for a brief period, rested in the hands of 12 jurors.

Another telling point in the special is when O.J. talked about being angry with Nicole at her wake and wanting to say “I told you! Didn’t I tell you?”

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As prosecutor Chris Darden put it, O.J. did what he always said he would do and not only did he blame Nicole for her own death, he wanted to taunt her as if to say, “Didn’t I tell you I was going to kill you?” Unfortunately, the anger O.J. held toward Nicole didn’t die with her because in her dying he could no longer control her in any capacity and that continued to enrage him.

Toward the end of the show, O.J. talked about going to Nicole’s gravesite and cursing her still, saying, “Look at these kids! Look at Sidney with no mother,” again, blaming her for her own murder. Former FBI profiler Jim Clemente described O.J.’s behavior as a classic example of a perpetrator of domestic violence. “That is what most abusers do, they connect violence and love.”

And love from the public is what O.J. appears to thrive on and crave most. He repeatedly accused the media of attempting to tarnish his image by harping on isolated transgressions while insisting the public doesn’t see him as a guilty man. “I go places and the public will come up to me, hug me, ask me how the kids are doing,” he bragged.

As he and Judith discussed the beginning of his trial, he focused not on the fact that he was facing a murder charge, but on his appearance, saying, “I looked so bad, I had no tie on. I looked horrible in court.” He offers more explanation for his disheveled look than on his propensity to violent outbursts and I can’t help but wonder whether, in addition to his insatiable need to control Nicole, the fact that he was becoming more of a topic of conversation for his well-documented abuse than his accolades was an impetus for the murders. A “look what you made me do” mentality, if you will, that’s as common among abusers as the idea that “If I can’t have you, no one else will.” Unfortunately, both ring true in this case.

Judith even revealed that O.J. was, in a way, seeking her approval during their conversation, telling her at one point, “You didn’t think you’d like me” and then asking, “I changed your mind, didn’t I?” He didn’t.

Despite his best attempts, I’m certain the only minds that have been changed after watching this lost confession are those of the handful of people who were still clinging to O.J.’s innocence. As Chris accurately stated at the end of the special, “[O.J.’s] really revealed himself,” and, in my view, what O.J.’s revealed himself as is a narcissistic abuser and murderer.

 

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