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The relationship between a father and his daughter is a very special one. It’s not like any new parent thinks about having a child of any gender and thinks, “I got this.” Everybody has their fears and doubts. But, perhaps because, by the time a woman has a baby, she’s already spent a lot of time taking care of men (let’s not pretend that guys don’t look to their girlfriends for that maternal nurturing), women don’t feel that having a son would be this totally confusing, shocking experience. Women feel equal worry about having a son, or a daughter. Meanwhile, if you ask most expecting fathers how they feel about the matter, most will tell you that the thought of having a daughter is particularly frightening—on a level of its own, really. Here are things about having daughters most dads never get used to.

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Telling them what to wear

It’s rather uncomfortable for a dad to have to tell his daughter to wear a longer skirt, or that she needs to cover up her tummy, or that she—gasp—must wear a bra! Moms are naturally more comfortable with these conversations.

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