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One of the things I’ve most enjoyed about witnessing comedian Tiffany Haddish’s come up is being able to watch someone to be their complete, authentic self despite what standards of beauty and charm Hollywood has historically says an actress should possess. Haddish’s success has truly been like watching the world realize how dope your home girl has been all along.
With all of the “realness” Haddish is no stranger to being transparent about her adjustments to fame, particularly after the blockbuster success of the movie Girls Trip with co-stars Queen Latifah and Jada Pinkett-Smith. She’s also been brutally honest about her challenging upbringing in the foster care system and battles of building a relationship with her mother despite her mother’s struggle with mental illness. If you’re anything like me, you’re hoping to get to know Haddish a little better through her recent memoir “The Last Black Unicorn” which I hope to see under my Christmas tree along with Gabrielle Union’s “We’re Going To Need More Wine”. In the book, Haddish shares her challenges with love and relationships as an adult detailing a hilarious story about the revenge she once took on a cheating ex.
Haddish also delves deeper into dark incidents that occurred during her childhood, opening up about molestation she suffered at the hands of her foster father. E! recently obtained an excerpt from the book in which the 38-year-old actress reveals that when she was only 13, her foster father offered to suck her breasts to help them grow when he caught the young girl stuffing her training bra with toilet paper. Haddish shares she was naive at the time and allowed him to do it for fifteen minutes every day before she left for school. Haddish says like many young women, she was unable to see the violation clearly at the time:
“In my mind, ‘molested’ meant somebody hurt you in some kind of way. Like, they took something from you that you didn’t want to give.”
“And what the old man did never hurt. It didn’t necessarily feel good, either, it was just whatever. And he never tried nothing else with me, not even once. It was just like — in my mind — he was helping me out.”
The actress, who recently made history by being the first black female comedian to host SNL, shares that she opened up about the “routine” to a close friend at age 19 and her eyes were opened up to the truth when the friend told her she was in fact being molested.
The actress also talks about a dysfunctional marriage the she admits she entered into not just once, but twice. She says the relationship became physically violent and at one point the man became so enraged about her speaking to a male comedian that he assaulted her in front of a crowd of people:
“He grabbed me by the collar, he was like, ‘It’s time to go to the room now,’ in front of everybody. Just snatched me by my shirt, and pulled me to the elevator and threw me in it.”
“Once we got to our hotel room, he was so quick. He snatched me by the neck and slammed me into the wall.”
Haddish shares she also suffered a miscarriage due to one of the man’s violent attacks, although she wasn’t even ware she was pregnant until the incident occurred.
Haddish overcoming the difficult situations of her past is a testament to her strength and determination. Her ability to be so vocal and honest about her pain will hopefully shed light on the urgent need for us to support our young women especially with conversations and examples of respect, healthy relationships and sexuality, boundaries, self-care and self-love.
