The Other Side (The Positive One) Of “Daddy Issues”
When you hear the term “daddy issues” what do you think? You can admit it. You think of someone who is emotionally unstable, needy, or perhaps even unable to love. If we can get very honest, you might think of someone who has gone into the exotic dancing profession. People have a lot of negative and close-minded ideas about this term. Funny enough, men have the luxury of accusing women of having daddy issues because when they say the term, they’re usually just referring to someone who hacked into their phone or stopped by their home unannounced. You don’t often hear women talking about men with mommy issues because, well, most of those men are locked up on death row for crimes far more abominable than reading someone’s text messages. I’d like to de-stigmatize the parental issues thing entirely, though. Here is the other (positive) side of daddy issues.
You look for responsible men
Women with absent or irresponsible fathers often look for the complete opposite in a partner. They’re hyper-aware of men who are and are not thinking about the future and staying on top of their responsibilities.
You look for good communicators
When your parents had a turbulent relationship (as is often the case with women with daddy issues) your standards for good communication become very high. You won’t stand for people walking out the door when they’re upset or turning to alcohol rather than expressing their emotions. You’ll only be with men who can communicate their thoughts and feelings and seek open, honest conversations.
You catch relationship issues before they begin
Women who come from divorced families or single mother households have an eagle eye when it comes to relationship issues. They don’t ignore red flags or brush scuff ups under the rug. They don’t settle into toxic relationships, hoping they get better—they’ve seen where that leads.
You want a partner who is your best friend
When two people are best friends and they get married, that tends to prevent a lot of the issues that could lead to an absent father or abusive relationship. Best friends know each other thoroughly, they see each other completely, and understand each other’s needs and moods. That’s the type of partner many women with daddy issues require.
You take good care of your mother
If your dad wasn’t kind to or even left your mother, you take extra good care of her. That’s something we should all do—daddy issues or not—really.
You dismiss men who use the term “daddy issues”
You have a zero-tolerance policy for men who claim a woman had “daddy issues” if she had certain unappealing or problematic personality traits. You know those men are emotionally immature.
You respect yourself
When you have a parent who greatly disrespected you—either by not paying attention to you, or leaving entirely—you can develop a deep need to greatly respect yourself. You learn, through pain, that the only person you can rely on to respect you and your needs is you.
You believe in yourself, and so must your partner
When you didn’t necessarily come from a home where your dreams were encouraged or even given much attention, out of necessity, you become your greatest cheerleader. Naturally, you only accept a partner who also believes in you.
You’re grateful for your healthy family relationships
Having one family tie that is broken or very damaged makes you extremely grateful for the ones that are intact and healthy. Some people don’t even appreciate their loving family members because all of them are loving. It can take a bad apple to help you really appreciate the good ones.
You encourage your partner’s healthy family relationships
You understand what a blessing healthy, loving family ties are and that they shouldn’t be taken for granted. If your partner gets into small tiffs with his family, you encourage him to work through them.
You’re extremely self-sufficient
When the person who was traditionally meant to be a main provider in your household went away, you learn from a young age to rely on nobody but yourself and you are very self-sufficient.
You can spot shifty characters
Men who abandon their kids are some of the shiftiest characters out there. If you had an absent father, and got to know him slightly before he left, you’ve probably learned to spot personality traits and habits that indicate irresponsible and unreliable individuals.
You only date men with the utmost respect for women
You have no patience for men who show even a sliver of disrespect towards women. That’s probably for the best because a small slip up in that regard is usually a sign of larger ones to come.
You want to be a very solid parent
You won’t be having children until you know you can be the best parent possible. You won’t even consider getting pregnant until you know you are completely emotionally, mentally, and financially ready.
You won’t rush into marriage
You also won’t rush into marriage. You’ve seen what can happen when people get married for the wrong reasons, or without knowing each other very well.