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Gettyimages.com/Three generations of women bonding outdoors

When you have a child, your relationship with your mother changes undeniably, immeasurably, and forever. It’s almost impossible to fully understand the perspective of a parent—particularly a mother—until you are one yourself. You and your mom probably fight sometimes (or a lot) as all mother/daughter duos do. Maybe you fight about the same thing over and over and over again. You cannot understand why your mom won’t change her opinion on the matter or budge even the tiniest bit in her stance. Is it a personality flaw? A stubbornness? Honestly, it probably has to do with her being your mom and putting her concern for you before all else. Here are ways your relationship with your mother changes when you have kids.

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You have retroactive empathy

Between the morning sickness and hormonal insanity of the pregnancy to every single terrifying and emotionally dizzying part of having an actual child, you suddenly have a lot of retroactive empathy for your mom. You expected her to be perfect when she was going through all this back then? Yikes.

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