How Couples Know When It’s Time To Have Kids

November 20, 2017  |  
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Bigstockphoto.com/Pregnant Couple On Sofa At Home Looking At Baby Clothes

Whether you’ve been with someone for a long time, already live together, are married, and financially stable, or you’re totally single, have no prospects, and can barely afford your own health insurance, you’ve likely looked at new parents and thought, “How did they know it was time?” If you’re nowhere near wanting children, but aren’t writing it off entirely, you could be asking yourself, “Does the feeling that you want kids grow slowly? Or do you just wake up and it’s there? Like BAM!?” If you’re in a serious relationship—or married—you may be wondering if certain things need to fall into place like a job promotion or the ability to buy a larger home before you’ll get that biological itch. The feeling can come from a dozen little things. Here’s how couples know when they’re ready to have kids.

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You always want to babysit

You and your partner jump at the opportunity to babysit for your friends with kids. If someone merely mentions they may have a long work day coming up or need to travel, you say, “Do you need a babysitter?!”

kids summer outside eating food snack siblings boy girl

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You want to meet every kid everywhere

When you and your partner are walking down the street, sitting in a restaurant, or enjoying a day at the park, if you see a kid, you start talking to him. You want to know his name, favorite color, how old he is and so on.

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You feel like you’re overflowing with love

You and your partner both feel like you have so much love to give and not enough places to put it. You want to cuddle every dog, play with every child, and just give love wherever it’s needed.

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Your friends with kids are your favorite

Your friends with kids don’t bother you—they’re your favorite friends! You always want to know what they’re up to. Heck yes you want to come to their kid’s fifth birthday party even if it’ll be mostly children. You find your childless-friends boring.

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You’ve discussed not taking your birth control

You’ve both started to do this dance where, when you take out your birth control, you look at one another and crack some joke about how you should skip it.

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Kids distract you (in a good way) all the time

If you’re at a restaurant and there is a baby at the table next to you, you both spend the entire night talking to the baby, playing with the baby, and asking the parents all sorts of questions about the baby.

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You say things like, “That’d be fun to do as a family”

When you talk about traveling to certain places or visiting certain museums, you always add, “That’d be fun to do as a family.”

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Your home feels empty

You catch yourselves looking around your house and sighing. It’s just so quiet there. You want commotion. You want the giggles of little kids and the patter of tiny feet.

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You stop to watch birthing classes

If you pass a yoga for pregnant women class in the park, you stop to watch. If you pass the window of a Lamaze class, you stop to watch. You don’t even talk about it: you both just instinctively stop.

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You wander into the baby section of department stores

When you’re in department stores, you always find yourselves in the baby section. You didn’t intend to end up there—you went to the store to buy a lamp. But there you are, touching little baby clothes.

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You’ve started talking about parenting techniques

You’ve already started to discuss how you would raise the children that you do not have. Hypothetical discussions about rearing kids become heated discussions that feel pretty real.

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You’ve started talking to your doctor about it

When you visit your respective doctors, you’ve started asking questions about things you should or shouldn’t be doing to increase your fertility.

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You’ve started asking parents how they knew it was time

You’ve started to ask your friends with kids how they knew when they were ready to have children. That’s almost a surefire sign that you’re ready.

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You notice each other’s caring gestures

You’re hyper-aware of every nurturing, thoughtful, selfless, and kind thing your partner does. You’re always pointing each other’s acts of kindness out to one another. You’re just looking at each other as if you’re already parents.

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You say, “When we have kids…” a lot

You’ve started to add the words, “When we have kids” to a lot of your sentences. You tack the words onto sentences about where you’ll live, where you’ll be in your career, how you’ll spend money and more.

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