Is Your Partner’s Love Of Adult Films Ruining Your Relationship?
Watching adult films is perfectly normal. It’s so normal that around 40 million American adults visit adult film sites on a regular basis. Between 50 and 99 percent of men watch the stuff, and between 30 and 86 percent of women do, according to various studies. If you walk in on your partner watching some X-rated content, don’t freak out. He isn’t strange, messed up, or gross. And his interest in adult films doesn’t necessarily reflect on his interest in you and sex with you. That being said, watching adult films can be a slippery slope for some individuals. Like with any vice, it’s important that your partner’s love of these raunchy films doesn’t affect your relationship. So, is your partner’s love of adult films harming your relationship? Here are the signs.
He’s tried to cross the line in bed
Your partner has tried to do something, or get you to do something, that made you uncomfortable in bed. It’s something he’s never shown interest in before, and that could have put your safety at risk, or been very demeaning for you.
He can’t orgasm from regular sex
Your partner can no longer orgasm from regular sex. He needs more and more stimuli to be satisfied. Sometimes he cannot orgasm at all anymore.
He needs it on while you do it…every time
Your partner needs adult films on in the background while you do it in order to orgasm. He’s even paused sex to turn up the volume on the film, or fast-forward to a “better scene.”
He uses up all his urges on websites
Your partner isn’t really in the mood to have sex anymore. He uses up all of his sex drive on self-pleasure and XXX websites. You’ve asked him to save some for you, he said he would, and then he lost the willpower.
He got in trouble at work for watching it
Your partner has gotten in trouble at work for watching the stuff. That’s embarrassing for him and you—you know all his coworkers are pitying you.
He’s been watching it on a date with you
Your partner has pulled up X-rated content while he was riding passenger in the car, waiting at a table while you went to the restroom, or using the bathroom at your parent’s house.
He’s spending money he shouldn’t on paid sites
Your partner told himself he’d start putting aside an extra $75 a month towards something he really wants at the end of the year. But he’s instead been spending most of that on paid adult film sites.
It’s making him depressed
Being addicted to adult films can actually cause depression. Some of those images, while enticing at first, can be very dark and lead to late-onset depression. Not to mention that masturbating a lot can mess with one’s hormones.
He’s chosen it over socializing
Your partner has stated he didn’t want to go out with friends one night because he wasn’t feeling well, and you later found him watching his x-rated content, seemingly in perfectly good health.
He’s saying unacceptable things in bed
He has started to say aggressive, offensive, and even frightening things in bed. He’s gotten the idea from certain websites that women want to be spoken to like that. Or, perhaps, he can no longer orgasm without speaking like that.
You’ve run late because of it
Your partner has made the two of you run late to an event before because he was watching x-rated films. You’ve been late to some very important things because your partner said he was shaving, but you listened in on the bathroom door and he was not shaving.
He can’t go anywhere without Wifi
Your partner refuses to go anywhere without Wifi. If you just want to take a weekend trip to a secluded resort that doesn’t have Wifi, he won’t go. He claims he has work emails he has to answer. But you can’t think of any reason he’d have to work on the weekends.
He’s using every lubricant in the house
Olive oil, coconut oil, your conditioner, your expensive night cream…it’s all disappearing.
He never goes to bed at the same time as you
You and your partner never go to bed at the same time anymore. You’ve been deprived of those oh-so-important nighttime snuggles (not to mention sex) because your partner stays up late in the other room watching adult content.
He seems distant
Overall, your partner seems distant and distracted. You can’t get him to listen to you. Only after he’s gone into a room and done his thing with the computer is he able to pay attention to you.