Have you ever dated a musty man?
At first thought, the idea probably sounds like a hard pass for most, but if you like a person and aren’t sure of a nice way to say, “Hey, you stink,” it can be hard to figure out what to do about such matters. One woman told a popular forum that she’s been seeing a guy for months, he treats her well, he’s got a lot going for him as a successful man, but try as hard as she might, she can’t seem to get into him physically or sexually. Aside from it being an issue that he’s a bit overweight and doesn’t have an impressive “piece,” as she called it, one other big issue is that he has bad hygiene.
Getty
Image via Getty
“His fingernails are always filthy, he is incredibly messy– his car and house are always littered with clothes and random ish,” she said. “He showers daily but always has this musty smell to him– it may be due to his weight, but everything in his place smells musty and it drives me insane.”
On a positive note though, he had bad breath when they first started dating but she hasn’t noticed it as of late so…there’s that at least. But who am I kidding? That’s clearly not enough to make up for everything else.
When I brought up this topic to a friend, particularly the idea of a dating prospect being on the smelly side, the best she could conjure up was “Ummmmmmmm we’d have to figure that out.” She didn’t immediately say she would want to cut a guy loose over something like that, but this thirtysomething also made it clear that it wouldn’t be acceptable.
“Hygiene is a huge thing man, and at this age… I mean we grown AF,” she said. “What’s going on in your body?”
While he wasn’t consistently musty, I’ve dated someone who had a habit of wearing boxers to sleep that he would sweat in. After a day or two of putting them on before bed, they would smell very sour. When I would put my head in his lap while we watched television, the odor would be immediate. I originally tried to ignore it, but after a while, it was driving me up the wall. So I just told him when they smelled, and thankfully, he didn’t take it hard. He just changed into another pair of boxers. It was at that moment that I realized the trick was keeping an abundance of boxers around so that he could never go too long in the same stinky ones.
But that smell was all about the clothes the man was wearing — not the man.
If the woman mentioned truly has a strong connection with this guy, she could let him know how she’s feeling about his overall hygiene and his messiness. People don’t always know they could be going about things in a better, more sanitary way if you don’t open your mouth and tell them in a considerate manner.
But the truth of the matter is, she is trying to force something when she’s obviously not feeling the guy. If he wears consistent deodorant, takes all the baths and smells like baby powder, it wouldn’t make up for the fact that he’s a bigger man, which she’s not crazy about. And if he lost a few pounds, it still wouldn’t change the fact that his package is smaller than what she’s used to and desires. She should cut him loose and allow him to find someone else — after she tells him about his odor.
As for others with musty men in their midst, if you’re afraid of hurting their feelings, you can always provide them with things that could help. As I bought my ex fresh boxers, you can get a partner cologne, a kit of body wash items, offer to help them clean up their space and just aid in bettering the situation. Or, you could just find a polite way to nip the whole thing in the bud by telling the truth. If you’ve known each other long enough and care about that person, they should know it’s not coming from a mean place. It’s for their own good — and the good of everyone’s nostrils…
But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Can you overlook a person’s bad hygiene? Or is it enough of an excuse to run for the hills?
